When the Moon Howled
by Spunky0ne
Summary: After a misunderstanding, Renji disappears and is presumed dead. His devastated taichou is left pregnant with Renji's baby and wondering if he is losing his mind or Renji might actually be trying to reach him from beyond the grave...Warning...angst, mpreg
1. It Wasn't Supposed To End Like This

**When The Moon Howled**

**By Spunky0ne**

**Chapter 1: It Wasn't Supposed To End Like This**

**(Happy New Year to all! Hope you enjoy this angsty piece inspired by requests from alabirdie and others. This one is a Bya/Ren and mpreg, but also includes some Byakuya/Tetsuya, Hollow king/Renji and Tetsuya/Rikichi. Enjoy!)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**_Oh my god, this can't be happening..._**

**_I can't be..._**

**_After what I said to him...the way I left things._**

**_I can't..._**

**_Please don't let me..._**

**_I can't leave things like this!_**

**_I won't!_**

**_Taichou, I won't leave you!_**

**_I..._**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

"Byakuya-sama," Torio said quietly, bringing the noble out of a sound sleep.

"What is it?" Byakuya said, an odd ache rising up in his stomach.

He tried not to think about the dream he had been having...or about the argument that had preceded Renji's sudden departure from the division.

_"Look, I understand what you're saying," Renji said, looking into the noble's dark eyes, "What happened between us was really, really wonderful. And I am flattered that you would go to such lengths to make a place for me in your life. But...you and me? We live in two different worlds. Come on, you know that!"_

_"Hisana and I came from two different worlds too," Byakuya said, frowning, "But when two people love each other, those boundaries fall away, and the two are able to become one. What is wrong with that?"_

_Renji let out an aggravated breath._

_"But...you're making it sound like I agreed to marry you," he objected, "This is moving way too fast for me! I do really like being with you. I like working with you. And making love with you was amazing. But I didn't think you were expecting I would drop everything and move in with you. I happen to like where I live. I'm near my friends. I set my own hours. I just...I like my freedom. After spending all of those years fighting to survive in Inuzuri, I like having my life the way I want it."_

_Renji felt a jolt of regret at the pain that flashed in Byakuya's eyes, then disappeared._

_"I see," said the noble, looking blankly down at the papers on his desk, "And...it seems that there is no place for me in your life."_

_"I didn't say that!" Renji insisted, shaking his head, "I just mean that...why can't we just see each other here? We're here together pretty much every day, right? I spend some nights here. We could spend those nights together...see where things lead. You may decide that you made a mistake going to bed with me."_

_"Is that what you think I did?" asked Byakuya, still looking down at his desk, "That I just...slept with you?"_

_Renji paused and let out a long breath._

_"I don't think we were thinking that much," he said, a moment later, "I think we were caught up in the afterglow of catching Aizen...and we...just did this crazy, beautiful, unexpected thing."_

_Byakuya swallowed hard and blinked to clear his eyes._

_"Renji, let me assure you, that I knew exactly what I was doing. I didn't just fall into bed with you. I had been trying to find a way to approach you for a very long time. I just didn't know how. At first, I just...tried to include you in more things, both in and out of work hours. I spent a lot of time thinking about how it could work, about how we could be together, and both of us could be content. I am not saying that we wouldn't have to make some sacrifices. But...people who love..."_

_Renji bit his lip gently and closed his eyes as realization spread across the noble's face and pain flashed in his eyes again._

_"Oh," he said breathlessly, unbidden tears rising in his eyes, "You are trying to tell me...that you don't..."_

_Renji gave him a helpless look._

_"I told you. I like being with you. You are beautiful...and no one has ever made me feel that good in bed before. I'm not saying it isn't love. I'm saying I don't know. Am I really supposed to know when we've just been to bed once like that?"_

_"I don't know," Byakuya whispered, his voice trembling, "It was my understanding that love was the only reason one would give himself to another sexually. It seems that you and I have different definitions of love. But...that being said, I think that we can conclude that what happened was a misunderstanding. My apologies. I will not trouble you anymore."_

_He rose quietly and started towards the door, then stopped as Renji's hand touched his shoulder._

_"Abarai fukutaichou," he said in a dead calm voice, "You are dismissed."_

_"But..."_

_"Remove your hand...now."_

_"Byakuya..."_

_"You heard me. Go home, Renji. Just forget what happened. It was a mistake. I thought that what happened, took place because we had fallen in love...but apparently, it happened because I lowered my guard at the wrong time. I assure you, it won't happen again. Now, leave."_

_"I will," Renji answered, "but not before I tell you..."_

_He broke off as Byakuya's flash step sounded and the noble disappeared._

_"Damn it," he muttered, shaking his head, "Good going, Abarai. You watch him for years, figure out everything about him...but you don't fucking understand him at all!"_

_He walked back to his desk and dropped into his chair, sighing in frustration. He thought back to the night they had spent together._

_"He was unbelievable..." Renji mused, "And I felt something unlike anything I've felt before. Why did I get so scared? Why couldn't I tell him that I love him? Because I feel like I do. I just...got scared. Why did I get scared like that? He said he loved me...not that he will now, after what I just did. God, I'm a fucking idiot."_

_His eyes dropped and caught sight of a new mission roster._

_"Yeah..." he said in a shaky voice, "Maybe a little time apart will be good...give us time to work things through in our heads. Or at least let us calm down and get rational again, right?"_

_He stared at the mission roster, then added his name and quietly placed it in his outbox. He sat at his desk for several minutes afterward, his mind replaying their joining, the surprise and genuine affection in those dark eyes, the honesty and intensity in the way Byakuya had touched him. He had sensed right away that the noble wasn't one who engaged in casual sex. And although Byakuya hadn't admitted it, he was sure now that he had only ever lain down with Hisana. Being more worldly than Byakuya, and because of his background, Renji had indulged in casual sex for the purpose of comfort on occasion...both with women and with men. He had always told himself it was okay as long as both parties understood its casual nature and no one got hurt._

_"Well someone got hurt this time," he muttered, shaking his head._

_Byakuya hadn't meant to mislead him, hadn't been unclear in his words and touches. But when Byakuya had touched him, the beauty of it, the intensity of it, the dangerously deep honesty of it had scared the living daylights out of him. Byakuya was a powerful man, who lived a very regimented life. And had he just moved in with the man, he was sure that the freedom in his existence would disappear. It reminded him of when he had been forced to have sex for money to keep Rukia and himself alive, and the man whom he had worked for had locked him up for months before he had escaped. It was the one secret he had ever kept from his very best friend...and the one terror that had never left him._

_"But Byakuya isn't like that," Renji whispered, "He would never...so why did I react like that? Do I really fear guys with money and power? Do I really fear anyone who could cage me like that again? I thought I had grown strong enough not to need that fear anymore...and now, it's ruined the best thing that ever happened to me."_

_He let out a shuddering sigh._

_"I wonder if he would understand if I told him why," Renji whispered, "But...it's over. You don't fuck Kuchiki Byakuya, dump him and figure he'll let you back into his head or bed again. Once that door closes, it's all over. I'm sorry, Taichou. If I could..."_

_He made himself stop, forced himself to his feet, then walked slowly to his quarters to change and pack for his mission._

_Having left the division, Byakuya moved in blazing flash steps, hardly breathing and not daring to think as he closed the distance to Kuchiki Manor, passed through the entry and kept running. He crossed the lovely, fragrant gardens, flash stepped over the back gate and bolted down the forest path to the only place that could give him the peace of mind he sought. He slowed as he reached the sakura grove at the top of a large waterfall that fell down into a huge, blue lake in the meadow below him. He dropped to his knees, his shortened breaths hissing in the cold, and tried to force his mind away from what had happened._

_"He doesn't love me," he told himself...aloud so that it might be more likely to seem real, "He slept with me because I offered myself and he desired momentary pleasure. He never promised me anything, and I never asked him to."_

_It was as though some part of him had sensed that Renji wasn't feeling the same thing he was, but he had just wanted so badly for the two of them to be together. He had acted without thought, and had paid for it with his heart. He hadn't thought his heart was so vulnerable, but being with Abarai Renji had shaken him._

_"But I can make myself forget," he whispered, "It will be awkward for a time, but then, Renji is to promote soon. And after that, he'll probably avoid me. Except that we'll both be taichous..."_

_He left off thinking and knelt beneath a sakura tree near the edge of the cliff. He let his heart ache and bleed inside him, but held on to his dignity enough to not shed tears. He wasn't going to cry for Renji. His pride would not allow it. But holding the tears inside made him feel horridly cold, so cold it made him shiver. So cold that it startled him when a warm cloak dropped onto his shoulders and his cousin's warm body settled down beside him._

_"Tetsuya," he said, hating the pain that escaped into his words._

_His cousin's large, blue eyes met his bracingly and his hand sought Byakuya's supportively._

_"I am sorry, Byakuya," Tetsuya said softly, "I know what hopes you had about him. And in my heart, I did long for you to know happiness again. And perhaps this is not over. Perhaps..."_

_Unable to listen to the words, Byakuya turned and claimed his cousin's mouth roughly. Tetsuya's dark blue eyes registered surprise at first, but then calm understanding. He let himself fall onto his back and did not resist as his body was bared and swiftly taken. He wanted to cry at the pain and desperation in Byakuya's needy, open-mouthed kisses, in the hands that roamed his body relentlessly, and the achingly heavy thrusting into Tetsuya's naked depths. He tried to remain silent as Byakuya penetrated him deeply, finding a place inside his gentle cousin that no one had ever touched, and striking it repeatedly as Tetsuya's hands tightened on him, but pleasure erupted and swept over him in a heady, crimson wave, and Tetsuya gave in to it, gasping out Byakuya's name as his cousin's seething essence suddenly filled him inside, shocking his untried body into orgasm. The younger noble's hot release splashed onto their bared flesh, and Tetsuya watched in stunned silence as his older cousin collapsed onto him, then returned to Tetsuya's warm mouth to share a soft swell of finishing kisses._

_Tetsuya went quiet and still as Byakuya rested his head wearily on the younger man's shoulder, and left himself entrenched in Tetsuya's body as he drifted off into a troubled slumber. Tetsuya simply held his distraught cousin close, pulling his cloak over the two of them and looking calmly up into the emerging stars. He had no illusions about what they'd done, nor any regrets. Byakuya had given him everything that was good in his life...and whatever he asked for, Tetsuya would give, without hesitation. It wasn't romantic love, but complete and utter devotion._

_Tetsuya sighed softly, catching a tear that escaped his sleeping cousin's eye and letting the moisture sink into his pale flesh._

_"Do not despair, cousin," he whispered, "Love will find you again."_

"Word has come from Hueco Mundo," said Torio, his voice shattering the memory, "The sixth division team sent to clear Las Noches was overrun."

"What?" Byakuya said, surging to his feet and hastily beginning to dress.

"Third seat, Rikichi sent the message from the recovery point. They were still in retreat, so the message was brief, but it was clear about one thing. Abarai Renji fell in the battle."

Byakuya's breath froze in his chest.

"They don't know for certain, Byakuya-sama, but his reiatsu has disappeared."

Byakuya didn't trust his voice to speak, but simply finished dressing and flash stepped out of his room. He ran to where Tetsuya waited astride Arashi and flew onto the tall stallion's back. He settled behind his cousin as Tetsuya's heels touched Arashi's sides and the black stallion charged into the senkaimon that opened for them. They raced through the precipice world, then into the living world, where Arashi came down in an empty park and spun towards Urahara's shop. The two men dismounted as they reached it and walked back to the secret entrance to the former taichou's hidden training grounds. They greeted Urahara and exchanged a few perfunctory words before reclaiming their places astride Arashi and dashing through the garganta Kisuke opened. Arashi flash stepped along the bright reiatsu trail his master provided, then emerged onto the cold, desert sands and ran towards Las Noches. They stopped short of the fortress, in a cluster of rocks, where the remains of their unit had entrenched themselves to address their comrades' injuries.

Byakuya slid down off of Arashi's back and flash stepped to Rikichi, who was in the midst of being bandaged by their attending healer, Hanatarou. He looked up with devastated eyes that haunted Byakuya as the youth shivered and gave his report.

"It was a very well-laid trap," he said in a shaky voice, "We didn't realize how fast the hollows would act to replace their monarchy. But from what we can tell, a member of the old hollow royal family emerged to claim the throne. It was kept very quiet, because they didn't want us to know. We were careful going in, but...Kuchiki taichou, they had prepared for our arrival and except for Renji...except for Abarai fukutaichou's quick action, we would all have been captured."

"What happened to Renji?" Byakuya asked, steeling himself.

Rikichi met his gaze with devastated eyes.

"We...don't know what they did to him. We still sensed him for a short time after, but then...all at once, his reiatsu suddenly disappeared. They may have masked it or..."

"Or they may have executed him," Byakuya finished.

He left Rikichi's side and walked to the edge of the cluster of rocks, looking out at Las Noches as Tetsuya stood quietly at his side, following the path of his eyes.

"Are we going to go after him?" Tetsuya asked softly.

Byakuya was quiet for a moment.

"Stay here, Cousin. I will have a look at things and be back shortly."

Tetsuya's lips tightened rebelliously, but he nodded briefly and held himself still until Byakuya was out of sight. Then he slipped out of the hidden camp and followed with silent steps, watching carefully as he moved closer to the fortress. He concealed himself behind a sand dune and watched as Byakuya searched the area where the battle had taken place. The sand in the area was scorched and still smelled of smoke. Tetsuya moved forward, brushing the soot from his leg, then tripped over something lodged in the sand and gasped in surprise. A hissing flash step sounded, and Byakuya brought him down in the sand as a light passed over where he had been. Byakuya waited until the light had passed, then released his cousin and watched questioningly as Tetsuya moved forward and took hold of something that had been partially buried in the sand. The younger noble flinched as the sharp edge cut into his hand, but held onto the item and returned to his waiting cousin. Byakuya took the metal bit from Tetsuya and turned it over, holding it where the moonlight could shine on it.

Both men froze, recognizing the bit of metal as a familiar metal fang.

"Zabimaru," Byakuya whispered.

There was a long moment of silence between the cousins, then a wave of shock as the bit of Zabimaru glinted oddly and slowly disappeared.

"Oh my god..." whispered Byakuya, body and mind going numb with realization, "_Renji..._"

Tears rose in Tetsuya's eyes as he studied Byakuya's fiercely controlled countenance. He felt the rage of pain that had opened up beneath the calm surface and felt frozen in place...uncertain what to do next. He wasn't sure how, in the end, he made himself move again, but he slipped a hand into Byakuya's and touched his face lightly, then coaxed him into walking long enough to return to the hidden camp.

"Did you find..." Rikichi began, then stopped, witnessing their shocked expressions.

Rikichi's eyes widened and his hands clenched.

"Renji?" he said in a quivering voice.

"His reiatsu has faded," said Byakuya in a low voice, "as has his Zanpakutou. Renji is..."

He stopped, his stomach clenching inside him, but then forced the words out.

"Renji was killed."

Byakuya watched in stoic silence as Rikichi collapsed in the sand and dissolved into tears.

_I wish I could cry for you too, _the noble thought, watching as Tetsuya knelt and pulled Rikichi close, _But I have no right to mourn you that way. You were not my friend, nor my lover. We were a mistake, Renji. And because of that mistake, you took the steps that led you to your death. I am sorry. I cannot take it back. Just know...that no matter how many years pass and how far I move from this place..._

_I will never forgive myself._

_Never,_

_Renji..._

He remained still and quiet, staring back at the scorched sand in the distance as the disheartened troops broke camp and prepared to leave. Tetsuya helped Rikichi to his feet, then coaxed him onto Arashi's back and turned towards the garganta that Byakuya opened for their return to Urahara's shop. One by one, the silent squad members stepped into the dark underground cavern. Tetsuya glanced back to make sure that Byakuya followed, then wrapped an arm around the distraught youth in front of him and nudged Arashi forward. Byakuya waited until all of the others had gone, then looked back one last time, his heart aching unbearably. He forced himself to turn and walk away, but felt, as he did, the large part of him that remained lost in that cold, dark desert behind him.

He didn't see the glowing eyes that watched him as he stepped into the garganta and closed it behind him.

The hollow slid noiselessly out of the shadows, his head aching furiously as he tried to remember how he knew the man he had seen.

He knew that man, he was sure of it...

He had been someone important.

Before...

The hollow suddenly screamed in pain and dropped onto the sand, clutching his head.

_Who is that man?_

_What did he do to me?_

He remained on the sand, writhing fitfully as calm, quiet footsteps approached him. He could barely see through his aching golden eyes as the hollow king approached him and stood, gazing quietly down at him.

"You have unresolved feelings for that man?" he asked, looking in the direction that the sixth division taichou had gone.

"Go then," he ordered the hollow, "Seek him out and make him pay for the pain he caused you. Kill him, then return to me."

He watched as the hollow stood and looked in the direction that the shinigamis had gone.

"You are conflicted?" the king asked softly.

"I...don't know," the hollow said, wrapping his arms around his aching midsection, "I am confused."

The hollow king smiled and slipped a hand into his.

"Come, then," he said gently, "Let me comfort you for a time. You should rest before you go after him. You will need all of your strength to kill him."

The hollow's golden eyes looked back at the king, flickering with indecision. The king moved closer, slipping his arms around the hollow and looking into his eyes.

"Do you trust me?" he asked, touching the ghostly, white face gently.

The large, golden eyes blinked.

"I..."

"You are newly made over," said the king, "You are still in shock."

He traced his fingers over one of the lovely, black tattoos that decorated his pale skin. His hand cupped the new hollow's cheek and he offered the creature a tentative kiss. The hollow started to step back, but the king's hand wrapped around his wrist, and the odd, red-golden eyes ensnared him. He said nothing more as the king led him back into the fortress and to his bedroom.

He stood quietly in front of the hollow and studied him closely, before touching his chest and watching him fall onto the bed.

"I know you have questions," he said, peeling back the yukata the hollow wore, "And I will answer your questions. But what you need to know and fully understand is that you belong to this world now. You belong to me. I made you out of the wreckage of that shinigami. I saved your life by holding you back from death. You are only one step from being a full hollow. To finish your transformation, you must complete your first kill and draining. And the person you will kill, is that shinigami who hurt you."

He read the shiver of doubt in the hollow and smiled at him.

"But enough unpleasantness. You need comfort now. Let me offer you that comfort, and then you may be on your way."

He laid down on top of the lovely, tattooed hollow, admiring the long, red and white streaked lengths of his hair, the sharply contrasting markings and dangerous claws and teeth. He smiled more widely and let his fingers play over the mask that covered the left half of his face, then sank into the hollow's hot, red mouth, sending his reiatsu into the hollow's body and slowly stabilizing it. He prepared the creature swiftly and entered him roughly, then looked down into the still unclear eyes and began thrusting.

"Remember this," he breathed against the new hollow's lips, "Remember your master."

The hollow moaned fitfully and closed his eyes as the king's powerful member penetrated him deeply and the cold hands of the hollow monarch explored him. Dark reiatsu flared around the two and the hollow beneath the king cried out as it seemed to burn at his skin. The king pushed farther into him and held his body tightly against the other as his member twitched in release and sent hot pulses of seed into his new servant. He wrapped his hand around the other hollow's length and brought his body to climax, then pressed his lips to the creature's earlobe as he released, and repeated what he had said before.

"Remember your master...remember your master..."

Strangely, when he closed his eyes, all the new hollow could see was the beautiful shinigami he had been watching before...


	2. Shadows

**Chapter 2: Shadows**

"Are you going to be all right?" Tetsuya asked Rikichi as he helped the youth down from Arashi's back, "I know that you and Abarai-san were close."

Rikichi sniffed softly and nodded.

"Renji taught me everything I know. The only reason I ever got strong enough to get out of the Rukongai and become a shinigami, was because of him."

He took a shuddering breath.

"But I learned a long time ago. There are no guarantees. And even really strong people sometimes aren't strong enough. Sometimes they die. And Renji died for a good reason. He saved all of us. I'll never forget that."

"No," agreed Tetsuya, "I am sure you won't. You are a very devoted friend. Abarai-san was lucky to have you."

"Th-thanks," Rikichi said gratefully, "Though...with all of the trouble I gave him while he was training me...he may not have thought so."

Tetsuya offered him a sad smile.

"I think, perhaps that Abarai-san probably found those times oddly endearing," he observed, "I gave my cousin a rather difficult time as he trained me, but he said as much. It is often perspective that lends levity to such situations."

He placed a hand on the youth's shoulder and looked into his troubled, brown eyes.

"Feel confident, Rikichi-san. I know that Abarai-san must have seen something special in you. That he put such effort into training you, speaks for itself."

Rikichi nodded and wiped his wet eyes.

"Thank you..."

"Tetsuya," supplied the noble.

"Tetsuya-san," said Rikichi, clasping his hand for a moment, then letting go, "I appreciate your kindness."

Tetsuya watched quietly as Rikichi turned and followed the rest of the sixth division unit out of the training room. When the fighters were gone, he turned back to where Byakuya sat with his arms folded around an inconsolable Rukia. It was an odd sight, to be certain, but considering Rukia's long friendship with Renji and Byakuya's more recent closeness with him, it made sense that they would be forced to lean on one another.

"I know I shouldn't cry," Rukia sobbed, heartbrokenly, "but Renji was the only one of our friends who survived Inuzuri. To think that he made it through all of that...and through Aizen trying to kill us...R-renji..."

Byakuya offered no comment in support or rebuke, but quietly held his crying sister, his saddened eyes staring distantly ahead of him. After a time, she calmed and was led away by Orihime, and Byakuya was left alone in Urahara's training room with Tetsuya and Arashi.

The younger noble watched his cousin silently for a time, then touched his arm and met his eyes questioningly. Byakuya said nothing in return, but rose and climbed onto Arashi's back. Tetsuya climbed up in front of him and opened a family senkaimon. They passed through the precipice world in silence and emerged into the gardens at Kuchiki Manor.

Tetsuya slid down and steadied his cousin as he dismounted. He followed Byakuya into his bedroom, gently waving Torio off and attending Byakuya himself...removing his uniform and dressing him in a comfortable yukata. He followed the noble out of the dressing area and went to make tea as Byakuya laid down in his bed. Tetsuya returned a short time later and set the tea on Byakuya's nightstand, then met his cousin's eyes for a moment and sat down on the bed next to him. Byakuya sipped at his tea without tasting it, then set it on the nightstand and looked quietly out into the gardens.

"I owe you an apology, Tetsuya," he said softly, "What happened at the waterfall...I don't know why I reacted that way. It was wrong."

Tetsuya shook his head gently.

"Do not torment yourself," he answered, locking his eyes on his cousin's, "You were shocked by what happened between Abarai-san and yourself. You sought an outlet...and I was more than content to comfort you."

Byakuya reached up and touched his cousin's face lightly, looking into Tetsuya's wide, blue eyes with apology.

"But...I, of all people, knew of your innocence. It wasn't right for me to claim it. As deep as my affection is for you, it is not that kind of love that should result in lovemaking. And what happened barely falls under that definition."

"Byakuya," Tetsuya said calmly, "If not for your intervention, I would not be living and breathing...and even if I was, I would be breathing dank, stagnant air and looking out through metal bars into eyes that despised me. And had you not taken me from that place, my innocence would have been lost to someone bent on hurting me. That you were the one to touch me first that way is only right. I gave that part of myself freely and willingly to you. It needn't ever happen again, and you need not feel an obligation. Only let the memory be a pleasant reminder of the strong connection between us. I am content with that...and I would not have you agonize over it any longer."

Byakuya's fingers gently stroked Tetsuya's cheek, and his lips managed a small smile. He leaned forward and touched his lips lightly to his cousin's, then leaned back against the pillows.

"I am honored," he whispered, "Tetsuya...will you stay with me tonight?"

Tetsuya looked steadily into Byakuya's dark, tormented eyes and nodded. He left the room briefly, then returned dressed in his night clothes. He slid into his cousin's bed and smiled as Byakuya's arms wrapped around him and his head dropped onto the clan leader's shoulder. The two exchanged a gentle, chaste kiss, then relaxed in each other's arms and gazed out the open garden doors until both had dropped off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

The hollow's golden eyes watched closely as the two shinigamis rode into the precipice world on the tall, black stallion he had seen near the fortress before. He was careful to suppress his spiritual pressure so that he would not be sensed as he followed at a distance. The men were silent now...and the silence carried with it a dread weight that the hollow could sense. The beautiful one, the one chosen as his quarry, was afflicted with some deep agony. It was an emotion so palpable that it made the dark creature touch his fingertips to the hole in his chest, to touch that place where his own heart had been before to make certain that the pain was not his own.

He tried again to remember 'before,' but was only able to catch flash images and fleeting sensations...nagging hunger, cold, fear...but then a turning of his life towards one purpose, one goal, one person. And the face of that person was the lovely shinigami he had been assigned to kill. The man, it seemed, had played a large role in the direction of his former life.

And he sensed that he had some connection to the ending of it...of him. His eyes glowed malevolently at the thought. If the man had killed him, or was somehow responsible for him dying, then he might kill him without regret.

If only he could remember...

But somehow, the emptying out of his heart had left him unable to connect with what had been. There were still emotions, light and dark, that radiated through him, and being close to the beautiful shinigami intensified those feelings. The weight of what the man made him feel was profound. It made sense to him then, why the hollow king had ordered him to kill the man. Doing so would finish his transformation, and would quiet the storm of emotions his presence stimulated.

But the hollow wondered if even that would give him any peace. Still, there was nothing else he could do. So he remained in the shadows and followed the two shinigamis out of the precipice world and into a fragrant and colorful garden.

The men walked together into one of the bedrooms along the garden walkway, then a few minutes later, one of them left and walked into another room. The hollow edged closer to the room where he knew the beautiful one was, concealing himself in the bushes and watching as the man laid still and staring straight ahead. A few minutes later, the second man returned and crawled into his target's bed. The two shared two gentle kisses, then relaxed in each other's arms and drifted off to sleep.

When he was sure that the two slept, he slipped out of the bushes and moved silently to the door. He listened intently, and hearing and seeing nothing, passed through the open garden doors and into the room. He was careful not to wake the two sleeping men. He wanted to be sure of taking his target when he was alone, to be certain that he was the first life taken and that there would be time to drain him slowly. He stood in the darkness, near the bed, looking down at the porcelain features of the man he had been sent to kill. His hand drifted back to the hole in his chest and he felt a soft jolt of pain pass through him.

_"You have unresolved feelings for that man?"_

The hollow king's words echoed in his mind, then a hazy memory formed.

_"You look surprised," the lovely man said, his slender fingers caressing his face lightly, "I have been aware of you this way for some time...since just after our battle, when you came to the healing center and stayed there with me while I healed from my injuries. And since then, you have continued to act with loyalty and respect, that seemed to always be our way of showing affection. This is just another expression of what has been between us, is it not?"_

The hand touching his chest clenched, and the black tips of his claws left red lines on his skin. He glared down at the shinigami, his emotions turning and strengthening. His clawed hand left his chest and reached out for the sleeping shinigami, and was nearly touching him, when the hollow remembered his plan to take the man alone and forcibly stopped himself. He stood, staring and feeling an insatiable hunger inside.

Then, suddenly, the man's eyes opened, blinked and slowly fixed on him.

"R-renji?" the shinigami whispered, sitting up and waking the man who was with him.

The hollow's sonido engaged, and he was out the garden doors and fleeing in an instant, leaving the two men staring after him.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya felt the cold gaze that had come to rest on him and his eyes opened. For one frozen moment, he gazed up at the half-turned face of the man standing over him and felt a shock of recognition. The profile, hair and black markings were all recognizable, even in the dark room, but there was something off...something not right with what he was seeing.

"R-renji?" he whispered, breathlessly.

He felt Tetsuya stir, and started to get up, but a flash step sounded and Renji disappeared out the doors, leaving Byakuya staring. Tetsuya blinked in confusion as his eyes cleared. He fell away as Byakuya surged to his feet and bolted out the garden doors, then launched off the bed and flash stepped after him.

"Byakuya!" he called, "Byakuya, where are you going?"

His cries roused the guards, who followed as Byakuya ran out of the gardens and towards the back gate. He burst through the gate and slid to a stop, his wide gray eyes searching the forest around him.

"Renji!" he panted, looking around.

He sensed Tetsuya's flash step, and felt a jolt of embarrassment as his cousin and the guards slid to a stop near him and observed him for a moment.

"Are you all right?" Tetsuya asked, breaking the awkward silence.

Byakuya looked back at them, suddenly registering how silly it seemed to think that Renji would come unannounced into Kuchiki Manor in the middle of the night...whatever the reason. It didn't make sense.

"I am fine," he assured them, "I...just had an odd dream. I...reacted before I was fully awake."

He glanced briefly at the concerned faces of the house guards.

"You may return to your posts," he said, calm retaking his voice.

Tetsuya remained at his side as the house guards walked away. He observed his cousin in silence, and was nearly startled when Byakuya suddenly spoke.

"Tetsuya, I must ask you something."

"Yes, Byakuya?"

"When you woke, did you...see anything? Anyone?"

"D-did I see anyone?" Tetsuya repeated, thinking carefully, "No, Cousin. I saw nothing...no one. Why do you ask?"

Byakuya sighed softly.

"It was nothing," he said, dismissing the incident, "I was merely still seeing my dream as my eyes opened, and my senses were confused."

"What...who did you see?" asked Tetsuya, "I thought I heard you say Abarai-san's name."

Byakuya looked back at Tetsuya and shook his head.

"It was nothing," he assured his cousin, "just a dream. I don't know why I reacted like that."

"You were still half asleep," Tetsuya offered supportively, "Your mind wasn't clear, so you reacted on instinct. Considering everything, it's really quite understandable."

"Yes," Byakuya agreed, his eyes sweeping about the gardens, "You are right, of course. Come, Tetsuya."

Tetsuya followed the clan leader quietly back into the room and, looking back for a moment, closed the doors behind them.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Renji..." the hollow whispered, watching as the doors to the bedroom closed, "Abarai Renji, that was my name."

His clawed hand reached out and captured a pink sakura petal as it drifted down from the tree he stood next to. He breathed in the sweet scents of the gardens and felt the softness of that fragile petal against his skin. His eyes closed for a moment in memory.

_The paler man's hands stripped away the all too familiar barriers, the white haori, the long scarf and the white, fingerless gloves that always covered his too pretty hands. Renji grabbed one slender hand, feeling a heady jolt pass through him at the very fact of crossing the boundaries he was crossing. He would never have dared before to grab this man's naked hand, and to pleasure the tender skin beneath with hungry kisses, while his eyes watched the beautiful reactions on the man's lovely face. He released the stunned hand and clenched the black shihakushou, pushing him back against the wall and bringing their mouths crashing together. The man moved easily with him, his pretty, gray eyes looking steadily into Renji's as the redhead sank deeply into his mouth and fed on the forbidden sweetness that had taunted him from across the room for as long as he could remember._

_He ached to tear away the last of the man's clothes, to strip him and fuck him there against the squad room wall, steps from where they spent their days filing reports and planning battle strategy._

_But he knew as the thought entered his mind, that it wasn't right. The man he held was not just some loose connection, not just another soon-to-be lover. He was a person of careful breeding, one who everyone treated with respect and deference. He might well dispense with the formality while in bed with him, but he wouldn't disrespect the man. The man's gray eyes looked back at him with complete trust. And it was that, which made Renji stop and capture a pale hand on his. He kissed the pretty fingertips and stepped back, then, still holding that surprisingly soft hand, led Byakuya into the taichou's quarters._

"Byakuya," Renji whispered, "Taichou."

The words felt as beautiful on his lips as the man looked. He understood then, that they had been lovers. He even began to remember how it felt to penetrate that pretty white exterior, to sink down deep into the man's body and to become one with him. He felt a soft, hungry ache in his loins and his mouth went suddenly dry. And he was forced to wonder if, in the end, he would be able to look into those pretty, trusting eyes and take the man's life.

Perhaps he would take him sexually first...

His awakened member hardened and leaked at the mere thought. But he remembered the look of shock in the man's eyes when he had awakened to find Renji in his room, looking down at him. He had seen something odd in Byakuya's eyes...something that felt like fear, like near terror.

Yes, something had been very wrong, but he wasn't sure what. And before he could approach the man, he needed to understand. So Renji secreted himself in the gardens and watched the closed bedroom doors steadily through the rest of the night.


	3. The Replacement

**Chapter 3: The Replacement**

Tetsuya looked down for a moment at Renji's desk, then back over at his cousin, who stood behind him, watching him expectantly.

"Why do you hesitate?" asked Byakuya, "I know that you long desired a proper place in the Gotei 13. You are more than deserving, and I regret not having fought harder to see that your growing powers were respected, Tetsuya."

"But...are you sure that you are all right with this?" Tetsuya asked haltingly, "You don't wish to think about it a bit more? Abarai-san was only declared dead yesterday. They haven't even held his memorial."

"Your official induction won't happen for a month. And our division needs someone who can fill Renji's shoes now. He was a powerful and capable fukutaichou. And I cannot think of another who could come close. This is your rightful place now, Cousin. Had I an heir, and he was old enough, he would serve in this place as my father and I served in it for my grandfather. But...I have no heir. I do have you, however. And I am exceedingly proud of you. I know that you will do our family honor in your commitment to your duties here."

"Of course, Byakuya-sama...I mean...Kuchiki taichou," Tetsuya corrected himself, blushing.

"Why don't you just call me Taichou when we are working here?" Byakuya said, sitting down in his chair and turning to begin his work.

Tetsuya started to move, but froze again as he spotted a pair of sad, brown eyes watching from the inner hallway. They were there for a moment, then disappeared just as suddenly as he had noticed them.

_Rikichi-san...?_

He glanced back at Byakuya, who appeared to be engrossed in his work.

"If you will excuse me, Taichou," he said quietly, "I think I will go and make myself familiar with the environs here."

"Would you like me to show you where things are?" Byakuya asked, looking up at him.

"Oh, no, I am fine. I will just...explore a bit on my own," he replied, stepping into the hallway.

"Very well," said the noble, dismissing him.

Tetsuya moved down the hallway, his senses extended and searching for the young man he had seen before. He briefly searched the hallway, storage areas and kitchen and found no sign of him. He had just scanned the barracks area and was walking back along the hallway, when he thought he heard a sound come in from the training grounds outside. He found a door that led out to the grounds and slipped outside, waiting a moment to let his eyes adjust, then looking around.

He could just make out a huddled form concealed along one wall of the barracks, near a group of bushes. He approached the area very slowly, concealing his presence, and heard a soft sniff as he drew near. He moved into the shadows as the person shivered and let out a soft sob, then reached down to pick up something that had been laid on the ground in front of him. The 'something' turned out to be a zanpakutou, and the person bearing it, drew the weapon, stood, and touched the tip of the weapon to the ground.

"Hiwashi..." Rikichi's voice said softly.

Tetsuya's eyes widened as Rikichi's reiatsu began to glow golden around him, and a huge, powerful looking eagle appeared in front of him. He ducked as the eagle's head turned, and a sharp eye fixed on the area he was concealed in. Tetsuya held his breath as the beast stared for a long moment, then turned his attention back to the young man in front of him.

"I am sorry, Hiwashi," Rikichi said in a choked voice, "I know I've been a disappointment to you. I tried really hard...and Renji did help me to get stronger. But...I don't know how I'm supposed to do this. My reason for being here is gone. I don't know what to do anymore. And the only person who ever really seemed to notice I was alive, and care a little about me...d-died. It's like my heart died too. I mean, he wasn't a lover or anything. But he inspired me. I wouldn't have come so far without him. And with that gone, and being alone again, I just don't know how things will ever get any better. I felt like I was invisible before. Renji changed that. _He _could see me...and the only person who could see me...just..."

He broke off for a moment and wiped the tears away from his eyes.

"We were almost there," the youth went on, "We were almost strong enough...but...a part of us died with Renji. And the part that is left doesn't know how to survive without him."

The great eagle lowered his proud head and nuzzled Rikichi's cheek, then met his eyes meaningfully. Locking his eyes on the eagle's, Rikichi gathered his power and let it swell around the two of them.

Realizing what he was about to do, Tetsuya flash stepped forward. He wrapped an arm around Rikichi's waist and quickly disarmed him. Rikichi's zanpakutou clattered to the ground and the bright power died, making the eagle disappear, as his master and the young man holding him dropped onto their knees together. Tetsuya held Rikichi tightly as the younger man burst into tears and went almost limp in his arms. He turned Rikichi towards him and brought the youth's head to rest on his shoulder, then calmly held him and said nothing as Rikichi expelled his pent up emotions. At first, he descended into quiet, heartbroken sobs, but gradually he shivered and quieted as numbness and uncertainty began to set in. He felt oddly warmed by Tetsuya's calm presence. But he knew that, because the man holding him was also now his superior officer, it was likely that Tetsuya was going to report his attempt to end his life, and he was going to end up in the mental ward in the fourth division. He shivered again at the thought, then sat up and gently pulled away from the noble.

"You probably think I've lost it," he said softly, "Are you going to have me committed for this?"

Tetsuya regarded him quietly for a moment.

"Do I need to?" he asked, meeting Rikichi's eyes solemnly, "Or will you realize that Renji wasn't the only one who 'saw' you. I just witnessed the power you wield, and I wonder, Rikichi-san...how is it that Kuchiki taichou does not know you have this power? You have reached manifestation. You have the potential to reach ban kai. That is power enough to have qualified you for the fukutaichou's position. Why then, did he not choose you? You are third seat and powerful enough..."

"But...I don't have the qualities it takes to lead. Kuchiki taichou knows this. And it is not something that a person can be taught. It comes from inside, and if it is not there, then one cannot lead, Kuchiki fukutaichou."

He sniffed softly again and gazed down at where his unsheathed blade rested on the ground.

"Renji didn't think that he was right about that. He trained with me, and it's because of him that I became an officer at all. He guided me to third seat and then he started to train me to reach ban kai. At first, I didn't think that I would even reach manifestation. Most shinigamis don't. Even among your noble clans, the reiatsu needed to achieve ban kai is rare. So...why would I have it, right? That's what I thought. But Renji said that if I really wanted the power, I would find it inside myself. And if I wanted to stop being 'invisible,' achieving manifestation...and ban kai would get me there."

"Does Kuchiki taichou know that you have achieved manifestation?" asked Tetsuya.

Rikichi shook his head briefly.

"Renji was trying to help me gain respect, to find a way to stand out. That's why I was on the team that went to Hueco Mundo. I was to lead it. But...at the last minute, for some reason, he decided to go along. I don't know why. He didn't say. And because he did, we all came back alive...all except him. Kuchiki fukutaichou, you and I both know that I could not have saved our group the way Renji did. I think, in the end, Renji knew it too. That's why he went. That's why he died."

Tetsuya shook his head gently.

"Renji didn't go on that mission because he doubted you," the noble said quietly.

"What?" asked Rikichi, "How do you know?"

"I know because Kuchiki taichou told me...the night before the mission, he and Renji had...a disagreement. And Renji chose to go, because he felt that they needed to be away from each other for a bit. It makes sense, actually...and...it means that he still believed in you...to that very last moment, and he will believe in you always. And because he is not here to honor his belief in you, and I happened to be the one to find you tonight, I will take up the task where he left off. If you can the strength to continue to believe in yourself, I will help you reach ban kai."

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji concealed himself in the bushes outside the sixth division, using the method the hollow king had taught him. He seemed to blend easily into his surroundings, and the darkness helped to make him even harder to detect as he watched the shinigami, who sat at a desk inside the division office, working quietly, and every so often, looking out the window near his desk, to gaze up at the bright moon.

He felt again the warring desires...one to possess the man, and another to destroy him...one to protect and the other to devour. He wondered why he felt so conflicted. Whatever feelings he had had for the man in life must have died when his heart disappeared.

_But why does it still hurt where my heart used to be? Will it stop hurting when I devour him? Is that all I need to do? If so, then why can't I seem to take those steps?_

The shinigami sighed wearily and gazed solemnly out the window. And a moment later, Renji started at the sound of his name leaving those soft, lovely lips.

"Renji..." the noble whispered.

He felt the ache again, where his heart had been.

"I wish we hadn't left things so badly. I see now that you and I were just too different. I asked you to move in with me, thinking that we were strong enough together to manage the differences. I didn't realize that you would think that I wanted to take away your freedom. That's not what I was trying to do at all. I loved you as you were, and if we had had time to speak again, I would made things right with you. I only offered what I did because I loved you. I just had to accept that you would never love me the same way."

Renji put his hand over the hole in his chest and closed his eyes.

_Why does this hurt so bad? Why does it hurt to hear that this man loved me so much? I thought that was a good thing. But now that I'm like this...it...hurts..._

He caught his breath, swallowing hard as the pain flared inside him. It pulsed and stung until he was doubled over and panting. Red light began to flare around him and before he realized what he was doing, he had used his sonido and appeared at the squad room door. He stopped himself with his hand on the door handle and was inwardly relieved that no one had been around to see him. But just as he began to turn away, the door handle turned and the door opened.

There was one frightening moment where he stood, face to face with the beautiful man who made him hurt so badly, then he disappeared, leaving the man looking after him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

"Renji!" the man called after him, running out into the street, "Renji, come back!"

He slid to a stop, realizing that several officers had turned a corner nearby and seen him running and calling after someone who wasn't there.

"Byakuya?" said Ukitake taichou, gazing worriedly at his colleague in the darkness, "Is...everything...all right?"

Byakuya swallowed hard and forced down the panic he felt inside.

"Everything is fine," he assured the other taichou, "It was nothing."

He turned and walked back in to the sixth division as the officers watched in silence.

"He's not taking it very well," commented Kyoraku taichou, "Despite how they started out, he and Abarai-san were close."

"I wonder what we should do about it," mused Juushiro, "He was acting as though Abarai-san was here. Did you see anyone?"

"No...and I didn't sense Abarai-san's reiatsu either."

He glanced over at the sixth division office.

"Just...let it go, for now. Give him a chance to deal with it. We can always step in later if he starts to lose it."

Juushiro bit his lip gently, then nodded.

"All right," he said, his eyes betraying deep concern, "But if he seems the slightest bit like he's going out of control, we need to move quickly. I will go and inform Unohana taichou about what we saw. She will want to know. She can have him watched to make sure things don't get dangerous."

The rest of the group of officers flash stepped away. Juushiro glanced again at the sixth division office, then flash stepped towards the fourth division.

Inside the office, Byakuya stood by the door, his body shaking as he remembered.

_It was only a momentary glance. I must have been seeing things. What is wrong with me? It looked like Renji..._

He remembered the night he had seen the redhead leaning over him at Kuchiki Manor.

_I noticed then that something didn't seem right. Could it be that...? Could Renji be...?_

He swallowed hard and tried to force the mental image of the coldly beautiful hollow he had seen...the one who looked like Renji...out of his mind.

_It couldn't be Renji. Renji was too grounded...to pure a being inside to...to become a..._

He couldn't even think it...

Byakuya abandoned the office and flash stepped down the inner hallway, seeking Tetsuya, but couldn't find him anywhere in the office or barracks. A quick reiatsu search yielded a faint trace in the training grounds. He ran to the door and opened it, looking out at the dark grounds, where he spotted Tetsuya kneeling on the ground and holding Rikichi against him. Some of his own angst left him as he studied the two quietly.

_What is wrong with me? I was so caught up in my own pain that I forgot that there was someone with more right to that pain than me. Renji was everything to that young man. And now, he's gone and Rikichi just watched me pass him over for promotion. He wasn't ready. There wasn't anything I could do._

_But I should have explained to him..._

_And now, Tetsuya is picking up the pieces of another heart I've broken._

_I leave a trail of damage wherever I go..._

He turned quietly back into the building and walked back to his room, mulling over the sight he had seen outside the door.

_It must have been a trick of the light...some flash image of my fears. I can't have really seen him...his red hair streaked with white, that mask over part of his face, and his hand clenched over the hole in his chest._

_Don't let it be real._

_That can't be real..._

He slipped into his quarters and turned on the light, reaching out with his senses and picking up no sign of any malevolent presence. He sighed softly then, forcing himself to dismiss the notion that he had seen Renji.

_I am mourning him...whether I have the right or not. That's all this is. I have to maintain control. I cannot let this pain overwhelm me. I won't lose myself in it._

He took a steadying breath and walked to his closet, where he found a red yukata and turned in the direction of the bathroom. He walked inside and left the door open, then set the yukata on a peg and undressed. After a last glance out into his empty bedroom, he turned and stepped into the shower.

He made the water hot and slowly breathed in the rising steam around him. He showered slowly, letting his worries and pain mix together with the water that washed the impurities off of his skin. He imagined those thoughts falling away, running down his body and being sucked down the drain and emptied out, somewhere far from where he stood. Relaxation and control returned gradually, but by the time the water cooled and he was forced to step out of the steaming enclosure, he felt more steady on his feet.

Tired...

Sad...

Achingly lonely...

But steady again.

He dried off and wrapped the yukata around himself, then left the bathroom and fell into his bed, more than ready for sleep. He clicked off the lights and closed his eyes...in moments, surrendering to sleep.

Renji waited silently, where he had slipped into the closet and hidden while watching the shinigami shower. He waited until he was sure that the shinigami slept, then slipped out of the closet. He cloaked his reiatsu carefully and closed in on the sleeping man, leaning over him and reaching out with a clawed hand. He felt colder this time, reaching out and taking the man calmly by the throat. When the dark gray eyes flew open, he quickly shocked him into stillness with a powerful cero. The man went limp in his arms, his eyes only halfway closed and his lips barely moving as they managed a few last words.

"I love you, R-ren...ji."

Pain exploded like white fire through Renji's body. He loosed a howl of despair and abandoned his catch, letting the noble's body fall onto the floor as he fled.

Pounding feet sounded in the hallway, and Tetsuya's voice called out for Byakuya. Hearing no answer, Tetsuya blasted the door off its hinges and flash stepped to where Byakuya laid, unconscious on the floor.

"Is...is he...?" Rikichi asked, shaking all over at the sight of the fallen taichou, "Why did he scream like that?"

"I don't know," said Tetsuya, "but he is alive and he seems to be stable for the moment."

He lifted Byakuya into his arms.

"I'm taking him to the fourth division," he said quickly, "Get an inspection team and have his room thoroughly searched! I want to know what happened to him!"

"Yes, sir," said Rikichi, flash stepping out of the room.

Tetsuya looked down at Byakuya's senseless body and had the momentary sensation of being touched by malevolent eyes. A moment later, the feeling faded. Tetsuya scanned the area around him quickly, but found no reason for what he had felt. He shook his head in frustration, then held Byakuya close and flash stepped away.


	4. In Denial

**Chapter 4: In Denial**

**(Thanks going out to everyone reading and reviewing! Thanks to unsigned readers Ren-renji and Byakuyafangirl...Love you guys! This chapter was so creepy it gave me chills and I couldn't go back to sleep after writing! LOL)**

Byakuya rose slowly up out of the blackness he had sunken into and felt a strange tightness around his wrists, waist and ankles. He sensed as well that a reiatsu suppressing collar had been placed around his neck. His eyes flew open and he began to struggle reflexively. A steadying hand came to rest on his arm and he found himself looking up into Tetsuya's angry blue eyes. It took a moment to divine that the anger was directed, not at him, but at the ones who had ordered him restrained.

"Remain calm, Byakuya-sama," he advised his cousin, "Out elders are here to demand your release. They have no right to hold you here against you will!"

Byakuya's eyes blinked and gradually cleared, and he stared in quiet dismay at the bindings on him.

"But why am I here?" asked Byakuya, "The last thing I remember is going to sleep in my quarters."

"Something happened," Tetsuya explained, "Rikichi and I both sensed a huge reiatsu burst within the division, and we heard a scream come from your quarters. When we entered, we found you collapsed on the floor. I brought you here for treatment, but then Unohana taichou claimed that there had been an odd incident reported earlier involving you and she wanted to run a battery of tests."

"That explains my presence in the fourth division," said the noble, "but it does not explain the restraints."

"I will explain," said the healer, appearing in the doorway alongside Head Elder Nori.

"I do not know how you can explain binding a man for being injured!" insisted Tetsuya, his reiatsu flaring fitfully, "I brought him here for treatment, not to have him be disrespected and subjected to this nonsense! Look at him! You cannot tell me that he is not in control of his faculties. He is in perfect control of himself. I suggest you dispense with this nonsense and release my cousin at once!"

"Unohana taichou," said Nori, more calmly, "I also must very strongly object to this treatment of our clan leader, "I have neither seen nor heard anything that explains such treatment."

"It is true that, as the head of your clan, Kuchiki taichou is not bound by some of the rules of the Gotei 13," said the healer, "but where he becomes a possible danger to himself or his subordinates during the commission of his duties, we have a responsibility to be thorough in diagnosing and treating whatever condition affects him."

"Then, you are saying that I attacked someone?" asked Byakuya, "Who?"

The healer fixed her troubled eyes on him.

"We find it possible that you may have injured yourself," she explained.

"What?" said Byakuya, looking mystified, "I have no recollection of doing anything to myself. I was in my bed and asleep!"

"I understand that," said Unohana taichou calmly, "But a huge surge of reiatsu was sensed in you quarters and you were found alone. We could find no sign of anyone or anything causing your unconsciousness. We scanned you for foreign reiatsu and the surface scan came back negative. We did do a deeper scan of your entire body, but the results will not come back until morning. I would simply release you and allow you to return tomorrow to hear the results, however, I received a report earlier today that several officers witnessed you running out of your division, looking visibly shaken and calling your late fukutaichou's name."

"What?" said Tetsuya, "I was at the division with him! I don't remember anything like that..."

"It was while you were familiarizing yourself with the division," Byakuya said, remembering, "I was working at my desk and I sensed Renji's reiatsu. I got up and went to the squad room door, and..."

He broke off and went silent for a moment.

_I cannot let on about what I saw. Not just because they would think I was crazy, but because if he really has become a..._

"Kuchiki taichou?" queried Unohana taichou.

Byakuya steeled himself.

"I found nothing," he said quietly, "There was no one there."

"Then, why did you run out of the building, calling his name?"

Tetsuya's eyes widened for a moment as he recalled the similar incident at the manor, but he kept himself carefully silent as Byakuya went on.

"I don't know why I did that. I didn't stop to think. However, given that I only just lost my fukutaichou and friend, it isn't unexpected that I would be troubled and even wishful that he could somehow be still alive. It is not unheard of for one mourning a friend to feel that person's presence after he has died. That doesn't make me insane."

"No one is saying that you are insane, Kuchiki taichou," said Unohana taichou reassuringly, "but I believe it in the best interests of yourself and your subordinates that we determine whether the dangerous reiatsu flare sensed in your quarters came from you or someone else."

"I thought that you did not sense anyone else in the room, and that you found no odd reiatsu on my person," objected the noble.

"The full scan of your quarters has not been completed yet. I need that and the deep scan of your body before I can say with confidence that the reiatsu flare did not emanate from you. That is why you must remain here. And the restraints are protocol when a patient, however in control of his faculties he might be, could be a danger to those around him."

"I see," Byakuya said solemnly, "However, is it not just as effective to simply order that I must have my reiatsu suppressed, and allow me to return home to remain under the watch of my own house guards?"

The healer sighed.

That would, of course, alleviate the threat to your subordinates, but in the event that you are involuntarily harming yourself, I would think that you would want the added protection of being restrained."

"So you are saying, not that I have lost my mind exactly, but that i am subconsciously attempting to kill myself?" Byakuya asked.

"It is possible," said the healer, "And under the rules of the Gotei 13, even though you are a clan leader, the protocol is the same as it would be for any other taichou class officer. You must remain under fourth division supervision and in safety restraints until the results of the deep scan come back and you are cleared for a return to duty. I am sorry. It is not meant as an offense, but as a necessary precaution, Kuchiki taichou."

Byakuya let out a soft breath and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Very well, I will accept the situation, with the understanding that if nothing is found, then I will be released in the morning."

"If the full scan and the scan of your quarters come back negative, we have no reason to hold you," agreed Unohana taichou.

"Then," Byakuya said, glancing at his cousin and the head elder, "I will accept the situation."

"Are you sure?" asked Tetsuya, "because we can force this with an act of council."

"He is right," confirmed Nori.

Byakuya shook his head briefly.

"It is not necessary. It is already well into the night and I am weary. It is not too much of a burden to remain until morning, and Unohana taichou does seem to have everyone's best interests at heart in doing this."

"Then I am staying here with you," insisted Tetsuya.

"You are welcome, of course, to post whatever guards you wish on his room here," said the healer.

"Arigato, Unohana taichou," Byakuya said, nodding.

Sleep well, Kuchiki taichou," the healer said kindly, "and press that button to summon a healer if you need anything during the night. Now, I will leave you to your rest."

"I will go as well then and inform the council of events here," said Nori, turning to go.

"I'll be right outside the door," promised Tetsuya.

"Thank you, Tetsuya," the noble said, quietly dismissing him.

His cousin left the room, turning the lights off as he exited. Byakuya relaxed within the restraints, but his mind continued to ponder everything that had happened.

_It is tempting to think that I have indeed, imagined the whole thing. The power of emotion is very strong in some cases, and certainly, my feelings for Renji remain strong. But...could they really have caused me to injure myself? And how can I explain seeing him? At Kuchiki Manor? At the division?_

He caught his breath softly as a dim memory began to return to him...of lying in his bed within his quarters, and being awakened by the feeling of something constricting at his throat.

"I must be confusing that with waking up with the reiatsu collar on," he postulated.

But the more he thought about it, the stronger the impression became. And an image formed in his mind about opening his eyes to see Renji...looking like a hollow, staring down at him through hateful golden eyes and tightening his clawed hand.

"But it should have left some kind of..."

He let out a soft, shaky breath and tried to force the concern away. There was, in any case, nothing that could be done until morning. He had no choice, it seemed, but to wait for the results of the scans. He went quiet and still, and eventually began to drift off.

As he reached the edges of sleep, he felt an odd shift in the reiatsu around him. He opened his eyes and looked around, but saw nothing. Everything seemed calm and normal. He sensed the reassuring presence of his cousin outside his door, and tried again to relax himself into sleep. But moments later, he felt another shift in the reiatsu, then heard the tearing sound of a garganta opening.

Outside his door, Tetsuya came to his feet and pulled on the door. He gasped in dismay at finding the door jammed from within and the small window obscured. He loosed a kido blast at the doors and called frantically for fourth division security.

Inside the room, Byakuya froze, staring, his fingertips inches from the call button at his bedside. He watched in silence as a dark form emerged from the garganta and quickly sealed off his room. He walked unhurriedly back to the bed and glared down at Byakuya. And even in the darkness, he recognized his subordinate's face.

"Renji," he whispered, his eyes wide.

Renji shifted slightly at the sound of his name, and a shaft of moonlight streaming in from the barred window fell across his features. Byakuya caught his breath and shivered inwardly at the deathly pale skin, the stark tattoos, the clawed hands and feet, sharp fangs and the hollow mask that partially covered his coldly handsome face. His red and white hair spilled down over his shoulders and tickled the noble's skin as Renji leaned over him.

"Renji," he said again, ignoring the pounding on his door, the rising power, and the panic of those around him.

All that existed for him was the icily beautiful hollow.

"Renji...why did you come here?" he asked softly, "They will come in here and kill you. You have to leave."

The golden eyes glared at him and one clawed hand extended, moving towards the noble's unprotected chest. Byakuya caught his breath shakily.

"Is that why you are here, Renji?" he asked, "Are you going to kill me?"

The hollow froze, staring down into his eyes.

"You seem conflicted," noted the noble, "You...remember me, then?"

The clawed hand altered course and instead touched his face lightly. Byakuya stared up into the dangerous golden eyes, dimly aware of the guards and Tetsuya viciously attacking the sealed door, trying to reach them.

"You must go," he advised the hollow, "They will break into the room in a matter of moments, Renji."

Another hard shiver went through him.

"And I don't want them to find you here. I don't want them to hurt you."

The hollow started as the door began to weaken. His claw slashed across the noble's cheek and blood leaked onto his skin. Byakuya gasped at the sudden pain.

"Renji!" he cried, more urgently, "You have to leave. You have to..."

He broke off in shock as the door finally gave way and Tetsuya flash stepped into the room, followed by a group of guards. The hollow leaning over Byakuya, howled angrily and loosed a huge cero.

"No!" cried Byakuya, "Don't attack them! Go, Renji! Run!"

Before the noble quite realized what was happening, his restraints gave way and he was dragged onto his feet. The hollow took hold of the collar at his throat and positioned Byakuya in front of him as the smoke and debris cleared and the guards surged forward. They slid to a stop as Renji held Byakuya against him and poised his other clawed hand threateningly over the noble's unprotected midsection. He slowly backed into the open garganta, then closed it as Tetsuya and the stunned guards looked on, unable to stop him.

Byakuya dropped to his knees on the icy cavern floor, his hand pressed to his cheek to stop the flow of blood where he had been slashed by Renji's claw. The hollow watched him for a moment, then took hold of the collar and dragged him to his feet again. Given no other option, the noble moved with the hollow, trying to maintain a sense of where he was, so that if he was given an opening, he would know which way to go. But the twists and turns in Renji's path through the cavern quickly confused him, and the coldness of the cave, and the continued loss of blood wore on him. And by the time they emerged from the cavern and dropped down into the sands of Hueco Mundo, he was hopelessly lost. Even under the moonlight, he saw nothing around him to tell him how close he might be to Las Noches...or to the nearby shinigami base. But even finding a listening post...

He gasped in surprise as he was shocked into senselessness and calmly lifted over the hollow's shoulder. He lost awareness for a time, then woke later to find himself imprisoned in a reiatsu cage within a cave.

"Renji?" he called softly, shivering at the coldness of his environs and because of still being dressed only in the thin white yukata from the fourth division.

He realized suddenly that the injury to his cheek had been healed.

"R-renji?" he called again, his teeth chattering involuntarily.

He heard the soft scrape of claws on rock and watched in silence as the hollow approached the cage and stood, glaring at him.

"Are you afraid?" asked the hollow in a low, rasping voice that still sounded like Renji.

Byakuya stared at him for a long moment, thinking.

"I am cold," he said finally.

Renji gazed back at him malevolently.

"Tell me," Renji went on in the same, rough, raspy voice, "Why did I die?"

Byakuya approached the cage bars and watched as Renji came closer to him.

"You died a hero's death," Byakuya replied quietly, "protecting your fellow squad members."

Renji stared at him, the reiatsu rising dangerously around him. He placed his hands on the kido cage bars and tightened them. A flare of power erupted from him, shattering the cage. Then, he took hold of the collar around Byakuya's neck and yanked him closer. Powerless and made physically weak by the collar, he could only stare as the hollow's reiatsu rose until it began to feel as though he was suffocating.

"Renji..." the noble whispered, his voice shaking

The hollow shook him roughly, silencing him, then struck him soundly across the face with the back of his hand. Byakuya's legs gave way and Renji dropped onto his knees, following him to the floor. They knelt, facing each other, in the darkness of the icy cave, Renji's hand still holding the collar.

"I _know_ what I was fighting for," he growled menacingly, "I _asked _you why I died!"

Byakuya's face paled and he stared into the hollow's hateful eyes helplessly.

"Tell me!" the hollow howled, shaking Byakuya roughly, "You tell me why I died!"

"It was my fault," gasped the noble, feeling the inevitability of death fall over him like a frozen shadow, "We argued and you went on that mission to get away from me."

He took a ragged breath and looked the hollow in the eyes.

"I know why you brought me here," he went on, "Go ahead, Renji. I can do nothing to stop you. If you hate me that much, then go ahead and kill me."

The hollow glared into his eyes and raised his claw menacingly. Byakuya shivered, but held perfectly still, looking deeply into Renji's eyes. The hollow paused, his other hand rising and touching the place where his heart had been. For a moment, neither man moved.

Then the hollow screamed in fury and struck him, sending him crashing headlong back into the blackness.

_It's only right._

_A life given for one taken._

_I have no regrets..._

_Renji..._


	5. Revelations

**Chapter 5: Revelations**

**(Thanks going out to unsigned readers Byakuyafangirl *LOL, fast enough update for you?*, Ren-renji and kuropie :) Enjoy the new chapter! Love Spunky)**

"Kuchiki fukutaichou," said Soutaichou, "I appreciate you coming to brief the taichous on the situation regarding the abduction of Kuchiki taichou. I am aware that you have not been officially installed as the sixth division fukutaichou, but this situation demands that you perform your new function to the best of your ability. Your taichou assured me prior to your nomination that you are well prepared for leadership, having capably led the house security forces at Kuchiki Manor. We expect you will perform likewise now. Please give your report."

"Thank you, Soutaichou," said the noble, respectfully, "Kuchiki taichou was being examined in the fourth division after an odd reiatsu burst occurred in his quarters and he was found unconscious therein by third seat, Rikichi, and myself. He was being kept overnight, and I was posted on guard outside his room, as it had not been determined if he had been attacked. I sensed the opening of a garganta within the room and attempted to enter, but the door had been jammed. When the fourth division security forces and I broke down the door, we discovered a hollow that had taken Kuchiki taichou as a hostage. We were unable to approach, due to the threat to Kuchiki taichou's life. The hollow and Kuchiki taichou disappeared into the garganta and closed it behind them. As Kuchiki taichou's personal bodyguard and fukutaichou, I am most likely to be able to track him. I would like permission to take a small team into Hueco Mundo to pursue them."

Soutaichou frowned.

"You are quite precocious, Kuchiki fukutaichou. You will remain silent as the taichous decide what the best course of action is!"

Tetsuya stood quietly, with his challenging eyes fixed on Soutaichou.

"He may be a little outspoken," said Kyouraku taichou, giving Tetsuya a friendly wink, "but I think he has a point."

"I agree," said Ukitake taichou, "I have witnessed that Kuchiki Tetsuya has Kuchiki taichou's complete confidence."

"But the man has never been a part of the Gotei 13," objected Soi Fon, "And in addition to that, his loyalties are definitely divided."

"But he is very close to Kuchiki taichou," said Hitsugaya taichou, "and where other situations might call for more adherence to the Gotei 13 rules, what matters most here is the ability to quickly track him."

"Still," said Komamura taichou, "it would be presumptuous to allow a fukutaichou with no field experience to lead a mission such as this one."

"It was my plan to seek the assistance of Shihoin Yoruichi, a powerful former taichou, and also a close friend of my taichou."

"Silence!" snapped Soutaichou, "Kuchiki fukutaichou, you were told not to interfere. If you speak out of turn again, you will be ejected from this meeting!"

"Hai, Soutaichou," Tetsuya said, calmly.

"Shihoin Yoruichi is a good suggestion," said Ukitake taichou, nodding, "She has field experience and she also will be able to track Byakuya capably."

"She also has exceptional power," added Hitsugaya taichou, "though I have heard that Kuchiki fukutaichou also has reached ban kai."

"I think it best that the rescue force be kept small," suggested Soutaichou, "Things are chaotic in Hueco Mundo. Assuming Shihoin Yoruichi agrees, I believe allowing Kuchiki fukutaichou and a healer to accompany her would be sufficient."

"Although it would be prudent to allow them a fourth person to assist with guard duty," said Komamura taichou.

"That makes sense," said Soutaichou, "Kuchiki fukutaichou!"

"Sir," answered Tetsuya.

"You are to choose a sixth division officer and a healer to accompany you, then proceed to the living world to meet with Shihoin Yoruichi and to enter Hueco Mundo using Urahara Kisuke's garganta."

"Hai, Soutaichou," said Tetsuya.

"You are dismissed."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya woke like one coming out of a nightmare, and sat up, his eyes wide and his hands hastily exploring his chest and abdomen. Renji sat up more slowly and watched him with unreadable, feral eyes.

"You're still alive," he said in a low voice, "if that's what you're worried about. If you weren't, then your heart wouldn't be beating so fast. It wouldn't be beating at all."

Byakuya closed his eyes for a moment and breathed an inward sigh of relief. As his senses cleared, it registered that he was no longer cold. He had been stripped of his yukata, his bared body wrapped in a warm blanket, and his head pillowed on Renji's shoulder as he slept.

"I thought that you abducted me so that you could kill me," said the noble, "Although, it occurs to me to also wonder why you didn't simply kill me in my own quarters...if indeed that was your mission. And further, I am curious as to who ordered you to kill me."

Renji's fingers curled around the collar at Byakuya's throat. He pulled the noble closer, so that their faces were nearly touching.

"_No one_ orders me around anymore," he hissed softly, "Not _him_, and especially not you!"

He shoved the noble away and Byakuya landed roughly on the cave floor.

"You are pathetic," he said dismissively, glaring at Byakuya, "You are powerless, physically weak, naked and nobody. You have _nothing_ that I don't grant you and you have no choice but to obey me or die."

He met Byakuya's eyes meaningfully.

"I remembered something while you were unconscious," he went on, his tone sending a chill through the noble, "I remember that you could intimidate me with your reiatsu. You beat me down with your words...and you nearly killed me with your powers. It was almost enough to make me kill you then and there."

He moved closer again, backing Byakuya up against the cave wall and taking hold of the collar again.

"But I decided that you would be getting off way too easy if you just died in your sleep. I want you to be intimidated like I was...beaten down...and cut to ribbons."

"I understand why you feel that way...if you have remembered that much. But...you still have not remembered everything. We started out that way, but...things improved for us. Give yourself time, Renji. You will remember how things were between us in the end."

"In the end?" the hollow growled, angrily, "In the _end_, I died because of you!"

"It was a misunderstanding!" Byakuya insisted, "I was in love with you! I thought that we both wanted the same things. I thought that you would _want_ to share a home with me! But you misunderstood me. You thought I was trying to steal away your freedom, to make you dependent on me. That is why we argued, Renji. But even though we were at odds, I still loved you. Renji...I still love you!"

"Huh," Renji scoffed, "You, a shinigami, love a hollow?"

"No," the noble said, shaking his head, "You may have been made into a hollow, but I still feel my lover's heart."

Renji's reiatsu swelled ominously.

"You feel my heart? Is that what you said? Because I don't _have _a heart anymore, thanks to you! And you might still have warm and fuzzy feelings for the obedient dog you pushed around, but I don't feel a damned thing for you...NOTHING!"

He moved closer and pushed the noble down onto his back. Byakuya steeled himself inside and looked back at Renji's furious face with perfect calm.

"Then...if your heart is truly gone...if you feel nothing for me, why haven't you hurt me? Why am I still alive?" he asked solemnly.

"I told you!" yelled Renji, "I am going to make you pay for everything you did to me! And when you are scared out of your mind, beaten down and bloody, I'll tear the heart out of you! I'll make you a hollow like me...then we can be together, like you wanted, ne?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"You cannot do it," he said calmly.

"No?" Renji said, his eyes glowing dangerously, "You think I'm too weak? Too intimidated? Too beaten down? You're wrong."

"I think none of those things, Abarai Renji," Byakuya said, again in that calm, quiet voice, "What I know...is that, you lived and died an honorable man. My heart tells me that you did not become a hollow as others do...because they die with turbulent hearts. We may have argued, but we were still in love, and I believe that love is with you still...that the man who yielded his life to save his subordinates would not become the very abomination that he rescued them from! Something else happened to you. That is what I believe. And that is why I will not fear you. I will trust you...mind, body and heart."

"Then you are a fool!" Renji hissed, raising his power around him, "And you are about to pay for that foolishness with your life!"

"If I am wrong," Byakuya said softly, "Then I will die with a peaceful heart. I will die looking into my lover's eyes, even if they look back at me with hatred. I will die with my lover's hands on me, even if it is only to rend my flesh. And his words will never make me afraid, even if they are filled with malevolence. Such is my love for you, that I will yield everything willingly. You think that you will take my life against my will, but I willed my heart to belong to you a long time ago. So do as you will with it, then."

Renji stared disbelievingly into the noble's calm, gray eyes, and brought a clawed hand to his throat to test his resolve. He gazed into the noble's loving expression and tightened his hand. Byakuya struggled to breathe as his airway was constricted, and his eyes glazed over and went empty and hazy. He leaned down and whispered into the noble's ear.

"Good-bye, Byakuya."

Then, inexplicably, Byakuya's head turned and his lips met Renji's. The hollow froze, staring down at the noble in shock as his body went limp and his eyes began to close. Renji's hand released the noble's throat and clenched madly at the hole in his chest. He screamed in pain and let go of Byakuya.

The noble drew a few gasping breaths in recovery, then turned and crawled into the stunned hollow's arms. He captured Renji's head with calm, insistent hands and brought it to rest on his chest, over his heart. He ran his fingers through the long red and white strands of the hollow's hair and gently traced the lines of the bony mask that covered part of his face. He kissed Renji's forehead, then lowered his lips to the hollow's again.

This time, Renji sank into the noble's kisses with near desperation. He clung to Byakuya with shaking hands, carefully retracting his claws to avoid harming him. As they continued to kiss, Byakuya's fingertips began to trace the markings on Renji's bare chest and arms. He remained relaxed and pliant as Renji lowered him onto his back and kissed him harder, and more voraciously. He met Byakuya open-mouthed, his tongue thrusting deeply into that warm, treasured place, the resultant pleasure of touching him triggering a flurry of memories. The truth of who he had been fell over him in soft, poignant swells, making the hollow place in his chest ache and throb. And what resistance he had fell away entirely as Byakuya's hands touched his face again and the noble whispered softly in his ear.

"It does not matter to me that you have become a hollow. I still love you. Renji...my heart beats for both of us now."

Tears erupted from the hollow's eyes an streamed down his face as Byakuya continued to kiss and touch him. He felt an intense hunger building inside him, something darker that fed on the sweetness of the noble's familiar reiatsu. He kissed Byakuya harder and shifted his body to bring their hardened lengths into contact. He felt Byakuya flinch beneath his hands and the shinigami made a sound of discomfort. Then Renji's eyes widened and shock flooded his startled body as he realized that the passionate expression had disappeared from Byakuya's face, and the lovely man's features now reflected intense pain. And he didn't have to ask the man what had happened.

_Oh my god! I let down my guard and began to feed on his life force!_

He tore himself away from the noble, retreating on hands and knees, his hollow body still aching for fulfillment and the taste of Byakuya's sweet essence tormenting him viciously. Byakuya scrambled after him, calling his name, but Renji evaded his grasping hands and shoved him back to the ground. He invoked his power and quickly raised a reiatsu cage, capturing the noble and holding him away. Then he backed slowly towards the cave entrance, ignoring Byakuya's pleas for him to stop. They rang in his head long after he abandoned the cave and began to run aimlessly through the cold, dark desert.

_"Renji, stop! It will be all right, I promise you. Don't go! Renji, please, don't leave me here!"_

Realizing the sudden, precarious turn of his situation, Byakuya fell silent, his breathing soft and quick, and his eyes wide with fear as he backed away from the boundaries of the reiatsu cage. He returned to the back of the cave and wrapped his naked body in the blanket, shivering even though it protected him capably from the cold. The truth struck him more icily than the frigid air around him. He was still powerless, still weak and trapped in the hollow world. And if Renji did not return...

He stopped himself from finishing the thought.

_Renji will come back. He was just shocked by what happened, but he will calm and return to me. _

_He won't abandon me._

_He won't leave me to die here._

Byakuya burrowed into the blanket and watched the cave entrance, unable to relax enough to sleep as doubt flooded him from end to end.

_Please don't leave me, Renji._

_Don't leave me here alone like this..._

XXXXXXXXXX

Tetsuya flash stepped into the fourth division, with Rikichi a step behind. He slid to a stop inside the entry doors and scanned the room. His eye fell on Kotetsu Isane, and he moved quickly to greet her.

"Kotetsu fukutaichou, I received Unohana taichou's message that the results of my cousin's deep scan have come back."

"Yes," said Isane, "Unohana taichou is waiting in her office, down the hall. She said to admit you immediately as soon as you arrived."

The two young men followed her down the hall and into the fourth division taichou's office. Isane led them inside, then left and closed the door behind her.

"Thank you for arriving so quickly," said Unohana taichou, "I felt that you should be given the results quickly, as the scan revealed some startling information."

"What is it?" Tetsuya asked, his blue eyes intense, "What did you find?"

"I understand that when you finished the investigation of Kuchiki taichou's room, you said that you found signs that a strong reiatsu was present, but that it had been obscured beyond recognition, ne?" the healer queried.

"Yes," said Tetsuya, nodding, "It is our opinion that a high level hollow infiltrated my cousin's quarters at the sixth division and attacked him, then left, covering his tracks by obscuring the signs of his passing."

"I concluded the same thing about the deep scan. A strong reiatsu had touched him, but then had been obscured."

She set down the papers that she was holding and gazed at Tetsuya.

"You witnessed the abduction of Kuchiki taichou and were the only one who got more than a quick glance at the hollow who took him," she said solemnly, "and it did not escape me that you have said nothing of what he looked like, nor did you include it in your report to the taichous. But, based on the report from Ukitake taichou about the incident outside the sixth division, just before Kuchiki taichou was attacked, I have a suspicion as to what you saw, and why you have been so careful not to reveal it. I must warn you that if my suspicion is correct, then Kuchiki taichou is in grave danger, as much from the hollow who abducted him as from the environs of Hueco Mundo itself."

She paused for a moment, then continued.

"There is something else that the deep scan revealed," she said softly, "A reiatsu chamber has formed within Kuchiki taichou, and holds a unique reiatsu."

Tetsuya caught his breath in surprise.

"Byakuya-sama is..._pregnant_?" he asked, staring.

"Genetic and reiatsu markers indicate that this child is the offspring of Kuchiki taichou and the late Abarai Renji."

The healer's eyes locked on Tetsuya's and froze the young man in place.

"Listen carefully, Kuchiki fukutaichou," she said solemnly, "You must find Kuchiki taichou and liberate him quickly from his captor...but you must not allow harm to come to either one. You understand why."

Tetsuya managed a short nod.

"You must capture the hollow, but do not return him to the Seireitei. He would only be killed. Seek trusted assistance in the living world and do not return until the situation has been resolved. You tread upon many fine lines, Kuchiki fukutaichou, and the breaking of any one of them could be disastrous."

"I understand," said Tetsuya, "Arigato, Unohana taichou."

"Good luck in finding Kuchiki taichou," the healer said, "Hanatarou will accompany you. He is waiting in the living world, and has sent back word that Shihoin Yoruichi has agreed to assist you. Go now."

"Hai, Unohana taichou," said Tetsuya, turning away.

He and Rikichi flash stepped out of the fourth division and turned towards the central senkaimon.

"I can't believe that Kuchiki taichou is pregnant with Renji's baby!" he exclaimed softly, "I knew that sometimes noble males can have babies, but I never knew anyone it actually happened to."

"It is exceptionally rare," said Tetsuya, "but closely bonded male nobles can reproduce. The child remains in reiatsu form and emerges through the body, then forms the child's body after birth. But...for the reiatsu to remain viable, it must be stabilized by reiatsu exchanges between the two parents."

"I don't understand," said Rikichi, frowning.

"There is a special kind of bonding that Kuchiki taichou and Abarai-san must engage in to make it possible for the baby to be born alive."

"But...Renji died," Rikichi objected, "Does that mean that the baby will die?"

Tetsuya stopped and looked around carefully to make sure they were alone.

"There is something I will tell you, that you are not to reveal to anyone until we have completed this mission."

"Okay," said Rikichi, uncertainly.

"I saw the face of the hollow who abducted Kuchiki taichou," Tetsuya admitted, as realization flooded Rikichi's face, "Abarai Renji has been made a hollow, and if we are not successful in our mission to capture and somehow restore him, it is likely that my cousin and the child he carries will die."


	6. The Deepening of Bonds

**Chapter 6: The Deepening of Bonds**

**(More smiles and thanks going out to unsigned readers Byakuyafangirl, kuropie and Ren-Renji. Thanks to everyone reading and reviewing. This one is really picking up some steam! I'm so hooked I can't seem to stop writing, but that's a good thing, right?)**

Rikichi stood quietly, half-watching as Kisuke prepared to open the garganta for their mission. He was glad to have reached the point where he didn't feel like he would cry every time he thought of Renji, but in place of the intense emotions, he wondered if the deeper ache and solemn return to isolation wasn't worse. But with Renji having been made into a hollow, though he might not have a purpose left in living, he at least had the responsibility to see that Renji did not remain a hollow. And if his life was to end, he preferred to let it end with him freeing his former superior officer and friend from the futility of life as a hollow, to offer him purification that only a shinigami's blade could offer a hollow, and allow his soul to depart peacefully.

He wasn't sure, of course, that he could do it...look Renji in the eyes and kill him. But he did know, for certain that Renji would never have wanted to exist as a hollow, that he would rather have died than to become the very enemy he had fought against. No...purifying him, releasing him from his life as a hollow, was the only honorable thing he could do. But he secretly hoped that if it was his blade that purified Renji, that he might also die with Renji.

He glanced over at the sixth division's new fukutaichou with a curious look in his eye. Kuchiki Tetsuya, he thought, was very intelligent, and had to know the lines along which Rikichi was thinking. He wondered then why the man had purposely chosen him for the mission. Others would have passed him over...if not because they simply hadn't thought of him, then because he would have been judged to be too emotionally involved in the situation and might endanger those around him. But Rikichi was resolved not to let harm come to his new superior officer. As much as he missed Renji, Tetsuya was a strong, brave man, and a person who seemed exceptionally patient and kind. It wasn't just a matter of duty that made Rikichi want to protect him. Tetsuya had been there to stop him from throwing his life away. If he was to die, then the man seemed committed to making sure it was an honorable death. In that way, he was like Byakuya. But there was a lot about Tetsuya that was curiously different. And despite his melancholy, Rikichi found himself wanting to know more about his taichou's gentler cousin.

"Rikichi-san," said Tetsuya, bringing the third seat out of his reverie, "I want to speak to you before we pass into Hueco Mundo."

"Sir?" Rikichi said quietly.

Tetsuya's sapphire eyes fixed on him and seemed to see right through him. He felt a blush creep onto his cheeks as Tetsuya went on.

"I know that, despite having begun to come to terms with what has happened, you continue to carry doubts about yourself. Though you do not despair, you also do not hope. You are in a precarious state."

He moved closer, and Rikichi felt something odd beneath the words, something that suggested that Tetsuya wasn't simply being perceptive...he really understood, like someone who had been there. As Tetsuya continued speaking to him, he felt his curiosity about the man deepen exponentially.

"When the people in our lives who we use to define ourselves fall short or die and disappear, it is in those times that we learn that our true strength does not come from that person, or those people. It exists inside. The people we allow into our hearts only help us to tap into that strength. And even when those people are gone and we are alone, we can survive that loneliness. Because if we do not close ourselves off, others will come into our lives to fill that empty place and to lead us on to greater strength. You learned a great deal from Renji, and he will always exist within you, but if you are to move forward, you must not seal the doors to your heart. You must allow others inside."

"I understand," said the youth, "but...Renji is really the only one who even noticed I existed. I grew up with no family...an orphan. The people who ran the orphanage were nice, but there were so many homeless children that they really provided only shelter, food and a little bit of education. I didn't feel close to them. I really felt lost among the others. When Renji came to our town and I saw him fighting the hollows that were attacking us, it was the first time I ever thought of wanting anything very strongly. I wanted to be powerful and to protect people from hollows. And even more, I wanted people to like me the way that everyone likes Renji. I didn't want to be invisible anymore. I wanted to be seen."

"So Renji found that desire in you and brought it out," Tetsuya said quietly, "You opened your heart and let him inside, and he honored your trust in him by helping to make you stronger and by easing the loneliness in you. He was a mentor and a friend to you."

Rikichi's eyes widened and he looked back at Tetsuya wonderingly.

"Kuchiki fukutaichou," he said, blinking, "how did you know? Because the way you talk to me makes me think that must have experienced something similar."

Tetsuya's eyes took on a shaded look, but he gave Rikichi a solemn smile.

"Souls that have walked similar paths will recognize each other," he commented, "It paves the way to new lessons, ne Rikichi-san?"

He turned away, leaving Rikichi with the feeling of seeing a cloud obscure the sun.

"Why don't you ride Arashi with Hanatarou?" Tetsuya suggested.

He flash stepped away before Rikichi could answer, leaving the youth staring after him. Rikichi turned and approached the tall black stallion and, as he reached Arashi, he suddenly noticed how the stallion's eyes were the same sapphire color as his shinigami master's. He shook his head to clear it and climbed up behind the healer, wanting even more to learn the younger Kuchiki's secrets.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya sat silently in the cave, the blanket wrapped around him and his eyes fixed on the cave entrance. His senses extended to feel the presence of hollows as they passed, he felt a shiver of uncertainty anytime one drew near. He was well aware of the seriousness of his situation, but had no choice but to persevere until Renji calmed and returned to him. But as the hours crawled by, he felt the inevitability of a confrontation with another powerful hollow. And he was unsurprised when he heard unfamiliar footsteps at the cave entrance.

The hollow had a humanoid shape, a tall, slender body, luminous red-golden eyes, ivory skin and carefully brushed and braided, long, snow white hair. His robes covered the hole in his chest and even though he was clearly a hollow, he wore no mask.

_That means that this is..._

"Kuchiki Byakuya," the hollow said, moving forward and through the bars of the reiatsu cage as though they did not exist, "This is not a safe place for you to be alone and without your powers."

The noble came to his feet, holding the blanket around him as the hollow closed in on him. There was nowhere to run, nor any use in trying to escape a creature of such power. Even had his powers not been sealed away, the hollow would have been stronger. Byakuya knew beyond doubt that the creature bearing down on him was none other than the hollow king, himself...stronger than any shinigami or normal hollow, and possessed of the powers of a god.

"It is not useful to me to have you devoured by a lesser beast," the hollow king said solemnly, "You will die, but you will die on my terms, in the way I have chosen for you."

"Then...you planned all along to kill me?" Byakuya asked softly, the words still echoing chillingly around them, "Is that why you made him a hollow? To lure me?"

The hollow king smiled.

"How arrogant," he said, his voice calm and stately, "If all I wanted was for you to die, shinigami, then I have little to do but desire it. My plans involved something much larger. But enough about that. Allow me to take you to a more comfortable place for us to talk. I will at least offer you some clothing and a hot cup of tea. Come."

Byakuya looked back at him warily and remained where he was. The king frowned and his reiatsu swelled, closing in around the weakened noble, tightening and squeezing until his legs gave way and he collapsed onto the stone floor of the cave. The king glared down at him for a moment, then dropped to his knees next to Byakuya and slipped a slim silver band onto his wrist. He touched the collar at the noble's throat and watched as it shimmered, then disappeared.

"You should feel some strength return quickly," he said, touching the band on his wrist, "That limiter will allow me to call you to me if you try to escape, and will allow you to defend yourself if you are attacked, but will not allow you to attack anyone or to leave Hueco Mundo."

"What do you want from me?" Byakuya asked as the power seeped back into his body, "I thought that..."

He broke off as the king's clawed hand slashed at him, cutting into his arm. The creature watched dispassionately as Byakuya staggered back, dropping the blanket, and blood dribbled down onto the cave floor. Then he closed in on the noble again, raising his reiatsu warningly.

"You will listen and you will answer my questions," he ordered the noble, "You will follow my orders. And you will die when I say it is time. You..."

He paused suddenly, taking in the scent of Byakuya's blood, then he lifted a claw and tasted it. He looked back at Byakuya curiously.

"He...took you?" the king asked, "You are with child now?"

Byakuya caught his breath softly. The king gave a short, rasping laugh.

"This is even better than what I had planned," he said, eyeing Byakuya appreciatively, "A taichou level shinigami impregnated by the hollow vessel I made?"

Byakuya knew better than to correct the hollow monarch in his thinking.

"Fascinating! I don't even need _him_ anymore...except to stabilize your reiatsu for the duration of your pregnancy. But when your hollow offspring is born, it will provide what I need to execute my plans."

The hollow king's red-golden eyes glinted dangerously.

"Will you accompany me willingly, then, or do you really wish to risk your child's life by remaining out here alone?"

He extended a hand in the noble's direction. Byakuya reached out with his senses, but with the king's powerful reiatsu in such close quarters, trying to sense Renji was like trying to find a chosen drop of rain in a downpour. Bereft of choices, the noble gazed back at the hollow king and calmly accepted his proffered hand. The air seemed to quiver around them, and a bright light flared and seemed to swallow them whole. The next thing that reached the noble's senses was that they had left the cave behind, and now stood in a well appointed room, he assumed was in Las Noches.

The king released his hand and studied Byakuya's bare body for a moment.

"There are clothes in the closet," he said off-handedly, "I will have food and tea brought, and a healer sent to examine you and to see to your arm. We will talk after you have been healed. Go now. Bathe and put some fresh clothes on. You will feel much better after that and a period of rest, I think. I will be back later."

He turned and disappeared, leaving Byakuya staring after him.

_I have to get out of this place, before he realizes that Renji and I made this baby before Renji was made a hollow._

He looked down at the silver band that the hollow king had placed on his wrist and shook his head worriedly.

_But at least he will not harm us as long as he thinks that this baby is a hollow. It will be several months before the reiatsu becomes sentient and the difference is detectable. But...if Renji engages in the stabilization bonding as a hollow, it is likely that...within a few weeks, my reiatsu and our child's will be affected. We will become hollows as well. But if we do no bonding, the child and I will die anyway. Our only hope is to find a way to remove this band and to escape Hueco Mundo. I can do nothing until Renji returns to the fortress._

But knowing that he was safe, for the moment, that their child was well, and that he would be reunited with the redhead, Byakuya allowed himself to relax. He slipped into the shower and bathed himself thoroughly, then dressed in one of the Arrancar uniforms that had been left for him. He cooperated quietly as an old hollow physician healed his arm, then managed only a few sips of tea and a bite or two of his meal before sinking into the surprisingly comfortable bed and falling into a deep sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji knelt within a cluster of rocks, far from the cave in which he had left his former lover imprisoned. The tears had dried on his pale face and he had regained some control, but his chest ached and throbbed as the memories of his long association with Byakuya continued to rake his mind.

_Damn it! Why does it hurt like this? Why does it hurt so bad to think of us like that? We were happy to have become lovers. And even though we disagreed, I see now that he wasn't doing what I thought he was. Maybe I still wouldn't have moved into the manor, but at least we would have worked things out. But now I'm a hollow, and..._

Byakuya's words came back to him hauntingly.

_"It does not matter to me that you have become a hollow. I still love you. Renji...my heart beats for both of us now."_

He felt tears threaten again, but forced them down.

_It's impossible, and I think he knows it. But he really does love me. Despite everything that happened, and what I've become, Kuchiki Byakuya loves me. And I know I love him too! But...how can I be feeling this kind of pure, beautiful emotion and still be a hollow? Is that why it hurts so much? The king said that I was not complete yet. Does that mean that I can be made a shinigami again? Is that why Byakuya is trying so hard to reach out to me? I want to believe there's a way for me to live again. But..._

He covered the hole in his chest with one large hand.

_This seems so impossible to overcome. I may not be complete, but I am a hollow. I have the urges to act as one. I even hurt Byakuya unintentionally. I wonder if those impulses can be fought, or if I will be a danger to him every time we are together._

He considered returning to the trapped shinigami, and he realized that even protected by the reiatsu cage, the noble was still in plenty of danger from stronger hollows that could break in and reach him.

_But if I go to him, I might kill him without meaning to. _

_Damn!_

_What do I do?_

He stared out of the cluster of rocks and across the dark sands. Hopelessness assaulted his mind as he searched for an answer, but still came back to the same roadblocks. As long as he was a hollow, he was afraid to get too close to the noble.

As long as he was a hollow...

_That's it!_

Renji's face brightened and his clawed hands clenched with new determination.

_That's right. There is a person who knows a hell of a lot about hollows. He helped Ichigo. Maybe it's not hopeless. Maybe Kisuke can find a way to help me. That's it, then. I'll go to him. But I'll need to bring Byakuya. If I leave him here, he's sure to be dead before I get back. But now that there's some possible hope, I need to see it through._

He engaged his sonido and burst out of the rock cluster and back across the swirling sands. He held but one thought in mind, reaching Byakuya and seeking Kisuke's help as soon as possible. He felt a smile return, and a thin shaft of lovely warmth pass through him as he thought of the possibility of being alive again. It was even enough that he could ignore the instant pain that rose up in his chest, where his heart had been. He embraced the warmth and quickened his step, closing in on the cave, and finally reaching it. He ran inside, calling Byakuya's name, then slid to a stop, noticing that, although the reiatsu cage remained, the noble was gone.

He shattered the reiatsu cage and ran forward, grabbing the bloodied blanket and staring at the blood splashed floor of the cave in dismay.

"No..." he gasped, backing away and dropping the blanket, "No! No! NO!"

He screamed the noble's name frantically, his reiatsu swelling dangerously around him.

"BYAKUYA!" he howled, a desert wind rising around him, "BYAKUYA!"

He loosed a hard, shrill scream that sent his reiatsu spiraling wildly out of control. The cave he stood in rumbled with shock as the errant power struck the rocks with shattering force. Renji ran out of the cave as the rocks came crashing down, and he collapsed onto the sand, sobbing like a heartbroken child.

"Byakuya," he cried, "You can't be gone like this! Where are you? Byakuya!"


	7. Fighting Impulses

**Chapter 7: Fighting Impulses**

Rikichi sat quietly near Hanatarou, watching as Yoruichi conferred briefly with Tetsuya, then flash stepped away. The sixth division fukutaichou spoke to Arashi and the horse tossed his head and stood quietly on guard. Tetsuya walked back to where the third seat and the healer sat and gazed down at the two.

"Yoruichi-san is going on ahead to track Kuchiki taichou. Rikichi-san, why don't you and I spend some time getting to know each other better," he said, watching as the young man rose and followed him to an open area just beyond their camp.

Tetsuya drew his sword and touched it to the ground, breathing a soft command, then watching quietly as a huge reiatsu chamber formed around them.

"This chamber," Tetsuya told him, "is a construct I learned about from my cousin. Because we are in enemy territory, we must conceal our reiatsu to avoid being discovered. At the same time, we need a place where we can loose our full power for the purposes of training. He moved closer to Rikichi and held his weapon out, hilt first, then watched as the young man accepted the weapon and studied it briefly.

"This is Re-kuhime, my zanpakutou," Tetsuya said, indicating the weapon, "We are unique in that, in addition to Re-kuhime, I have Arashi. Arashi and I share a complex bond that allows him to fight using the same attacks that I wield."

"I've never heard of that," mused Rikichi, "It sounds amazing!"

"Arashi will be standing guard as we train, so he will not involve himself with our battle. We will begin with swordsmanship, then add kido, and finally will release our weapons. When we make contact with each other, we will feel an impact, but will be spared any real damage, as we do not want to reduce our ability to defend ourselves while we are in Hueco Mundo."

"That makes sense," agreed Rikichi, drawing his sword and stepping back.

"This first round, we will just be getting familiar with each other," said Tetsuya.

The two young men moved into position.

"Begin," said Tetsuya, flash stepping forward and attacking.

Rikichi's sword crashed against his, and Tetsuya turned, defending as the other young man moved into a series of heavy, aggressive attacks.

"I can see Abarai-san's influence," commented the noble, "You both defend and attack aggressively, using your physical strength to batter your opponent's defenses."

Rikichi caught his breath softly as Tetsuya moved into a flurry of careful strikes that forced him to use less strength and more finesse in his movements to block the other shinigami's skillful attacks. Tetsuya continued to attack, then, but left a number of openings, which he noted, with approval, that the young man was quick to see and exploit.

"You are able to watch your opponent and alter your strategy to suit the incoming attacks. Again, I see Abarai-san's ability to assess and counter an opponent."

He locked his blade against Rikichi's and smiled at the third seat.

"You are a skilled swordsman," he said approvingly, "Let's move on to kido."

Tetsuya loosed a soft swell of reiatsu that forced them away from each other.

"Make a kido ball and send it at me."

Tetsuya watched as Rikichi gathered his power and swirled it into a blue fireball in his outstretched hands. The noble set a receptive shield in front of himself and waited as Rikichi reached full power and loosed his attack. The kido ball struck Tetsuya's shield with impressive force.

"Well done," Tetsuya said, nodding in approval, "Your kido ability is respectable."

Rikichi couldn't quite stifle a soft laugh.

"Renji used to complain that I was making him look bad because his kido spells blew up in his face every so often."

"About every fifth spell," Tetsuya added, "according to Kuchiki taichou. He spoke of Renji often. He also had great respect for Abarai-san's growing ability. And he would be proud of yours as well, Rikichi-san."

He gazed at Rikichi with understanding as the young man's eyes darkened with emotion.

"Let me see your zanpakutou release," he requested.

Tetsuya stepped back, watching closely as Rikichi extended his blade in front of him and upward.

"Kassou, Hiwashi!"

Tetsuya's dark blue eyes widened with appreciation as the huge eagle burst from Rikichi's blade and shot towards him. He raised Re-kuhime and a light fog enveloped the battlefield. Rikichi gasped as the eagle struck Tetsuya head on, and the noble's body exploded into a huge splash of water. He reacted instantly, sensing that the noble was going to attack, and blocking his blade cleanly as Tetsuya reappeared and struck at him. Tetsuya nodded and smiled, then stepped back and sheathed his weapon.

"Well done," the noble said, "Your senses are sharp and you have good reflexes. We'll work on building your physical strength, footwork and raising your kido to fukutaichou level...and of course, we will focus on achieving ban kai."

He started to say more, but was interrupted by a huge explosion of reiatsu nearby. Tetsuya shattered the reiatsu cage and hissed a command to Arashi, who moved closer to Hanatarou and stood guard, while the sixth division fukutaichou and third seat flash stepped in the direction of the disturbance.

A hard chill went through Rikichi as a beastly scream echoed all around them.

_Oh my kami! That's...!_

The two shinigamis came to a small rise and looked over. A short distance away, a hollow knelt on the ground in front of a huge fall of boulders, holding his head and howling at the top of his lungs. Tetsuya drew his weapon, then made a sound of surprise as Rikichi's hand caught his sword arm.

"Wait," the young man said breathlessly, "Kuchiki fukutaichou, that's Renji!"

Tetsuya stared wide-eyed at the kneeling hollow. He sheathed his weapon and moved forward cautiously, motioning for Rikichi to stay back. Renji seemed not to notice Tetsuya as the noble approached slowly and paused a short distance away.

"Byakuya!" Renji screamed, his reiatsu exploding around him, and sending a shock wave the made the ground rumble under Tetsuya's feet, "Where are you, Byakuya!"

"Abarai-san," Tetsuya called softly.

Renji shrank back in surprise and came to his feet, flash stepping towards the noble and screaming Byakuya's name. He seemed to realize then, that Tetsuya was not the man he was calling to, and he slid to a stop in front of Tetsuya.

"Abarai-san," said Tetsuya, standing very still and gazing into the out of control hollow's blazing eyes, "Do you...remember me? I am...Byakuya's cousin, Tetsuya."

The hollow glared at Tetsuya, growling, and the noble took a step back, then another.

"Abarai-san, please listen," Tetsuya went on, "We are here looking for Byakuya too. Wh-where is he? Is he...?"

He gasped and flash stepped back as Renji's reiatsu flared again and the hollow struck at the noble with slashing claws. Tetsuya reappeared a short distance away, his legs shaking and blood running down the front of his shihakushou. Renji flash stepped after him as Tetsuya swayed and dropped to his knees. Renji reached the kneeling shinigami and screamed again, slashing downward.

He stared in surprise as a slim blade blocked his claw, stopping him just short of finishing off the injured shinigami. His head turned and his golden eyes went wide as he looked into Rikichi's frightened expression, and the part of him that still remembered came back to the fore. He staggered back with a guttural cry and dropped to his knees, gasping and panting as Rikichi eased Tetsuya to the ground and opened his shihakushou. Renji stayed where he was as the third seat placed his palms on his injured superior's slashed chest and sent healing reiatsu into the wounds.

"I know you didn't mean it," said Rikichi in a trembling voice, "and I'm glad you stopped yourself. It's going to be all right, Renji. We'll...we'll figure this out. Somehow, we'll figure it out. It will be okay."

Renji seemed to calm in stages, and as Rikichi continued to heal Tetsuya, Renji knelt on the sand and slowed his breathing, looking up every now and then at Rikichi and forcing down tears.

"I...I'm sorry," Renji said finally, his eyes devastated as the full realization of what he had done fell over him, "I couldn't find Byakuya. I left him in this cave, but when I came back, he was gone. I can't sense him. I...don't know what happened to him. I found his blood. I don't know if he's just hurt or..."

"He isn't dead," said a feminine voice from behind Rikichi.

Renji and Rikichi looked up and spotted Yoruichi, arriving with Hanatarou. The healer joined Rikichi next to Tetsuya and quickly added his considerable healing power to the third seat's.

"Byakuya is still alive," Yoruichi reported, "but he was taken to Las Noches. I sensed that his reiatsu was here, but as I reached the area, whoever found him, used a powerful spell to transport him to Las Noches. I went on to the fortress and was able to sense his reiatsu there. He is alive...for now. But we need to find a way in to free him."

She looked down at Renji, who was sitting on the sand and watching with sad eyes as Hantatarou and Rikichi continued to heal Tetsuya. The noble stirred and groaned softly, but his eyes remained closed.

"He's going to be all right," Hanatarou said with certainty, "but he will need to rest for several hours to let his reiatsu restore itself."

"B-but...Byakuya-sama," Tetsuya moaned, lapsing into habit as he struggled to fully regain awareness.

Yoruichi dropped down beside the noble and took his hand. Tetsuya's eyes opened and met hers wearily.

"Renji and I will go on to Las Noches together," Yoruichi said bracingly, "We will find out where Byakuya is and then we can form a plan for getting him out of there. Rikichi and Hanatarou will stay here with you and get you back on your feet, ne?"

Tetsuya nodded briefly and closed his eyes again.

"You and Hanatarou have Arashi help you get him back to camp," Yoruichi said to Rikichi, as the stallion appeared and moved quickly to the fallen noble's side.

Renji stood and approached Yoruichi as the others lifted Tetsuya onto Arashi's back and left for the camp.

"Yoruichi-san," the hollow said, "I have to ask you. Do you think that there is any chance that Kisuke can...reverse this? Or...should I plan on this being permanent?"

Yoruichi gave Renji a concerned look.

"I don't know that I can answer that," the cat woman said, "But there is something odd about your reiatsu that makes me think that it might be possible."

The two turned in the direction of the fortress.

"Why don't you tell me what you know about your situation," suggested Yoruichi, "We have a little ways to go."

Renji nodded.

"I remember coming here with the group from our division. We were taken by surprise. I used my ban kai and gave the rest of the group an opening to escape. I turned to go after them, but...something hit me from behind. Everything went black and real cold after that. When I woke up, I was like this. The hollow king was there. He, uh...he told me that I was incomplete. He said that to complete my transition, I had to kill and devour Byakuya. At first, I didn't even remember him...or anything from my life. And it's strange. I slowly began to remember things, and I didn't want to hurt him, you know? But...I have these...these feelings like a hollow. And sometimes they are so strong that I can't stop myself. I was getting myself back under control, but then, I found that Byakuya was missing, and I thought that he was dead. I freaked out and lost control."

He gave Yoruichi an anguished look.

"Tetsuya didn't do anything to aggravate me. He was...talking to me, trying to help me get back under control. I didn't want to hurt him, but my reiatsu flared and my mind went blank. The next thing I knew, Tetsuya was on the ground and I was about to finish him. If Rikichi hadn't shown up and kinda shocked me back into reality, I might have killed him. Damn! I can't trust myself. I don't know what to do."

"Don't worry about that, for now," Yoruichi said, "The most important thing is to reach Byakuya as quickly as possible. We need to make sure he's okay and get him out of there."

Yoruichi took a steadying breath.

"And Renji, there is something you need to know about Byakuya."

"What?" asked the redhead, looking concerned.

"Tetsuya told me that just before they left, Unohana taichou told him that Byakuya is pregnant."

"Wh-what?"

"The baby is yours."

Renji slid to a stop, his golden eyes filling with emotion.

"Yoruichi-san...are you...sure? We're going to have a baby? But...I mean, I _know_. Byakuya's a guy! How is that possible?"

"Well," said the cat woman, "It's a little known fact because it is rare, even among the noble families. But some noble males have the ability to draw in reiatsu, and their body forms a chamber and matures it...kind of like pregnancy in women, but there's no need for a difficult birth. When the reiatsu is mature, it passes out of the body and solidifies. The problem is going to be that, for the process to work, you and Byakuya have to engage in a special kind of bonding to hold his reiatsu and the baby's in balance. If you don't do that, Byakuya and the baby will destabilize and both will die."

"Then, I have to get to him fast!" Renji said, starting to turn away.

Yoruichi took hold of his arm and held him still.

"Renji, we have to find a way to reverse your hollowfication. If you bond with him like this, your hollow reiatsu will begin to invade his body and the baby's. Within a few weeks, Byakuya and the baby will turn into hollows too."

"Shit..." Renji breathed, "Yoruichi-san, we really have to get him out of there...and get me changed back. How in the hell are we gonna do that?"

The cat woman slipped an arm around him and the two continued walking.

"We'll find a way to get him out, and I'll send a message and some samples of your blood and reiatsu to Kisuke so that he can start working on how to reverse the process."

"Eh...blood, huh?" said Renji, looking uncomfortable, "Can't we just send reiatsu? I get a little queasy around needles."

Yoruichi suddenly morphed into cat form and slashed at the hollow's leg with her claws.

"OW!" yelled Renji, "What the hell?"

His reiatsu flared warningly, but he took a breath and forced it down.

"You're damned lucky I didn't go hollow on you and kill you!"

"Was that better than a needle?" asked Yoruichi, grinning as she returned to shinigami form and collected the blood sample in a tube she took from within her clothes.

She capped the tube and took a second to collect the reiatsu.

"That should do it," she said, as they came to a stop, just short of the fortress, "Now, if Byakuya is in there, then the hollow king obviously wants something from him. And he's going to figure that since he assigned you to kill Byakuya, you have to return to him to do that. Be careful not to give anything away to the king. Find Byakuya and assess his situation, then come back to me and let me know what the situation is. I'll send these samples on to Kisuke and I'll be waiting here when you come back. Work quickly, because you and Byakuya don't have a lot of time."

"Okay," said Renji, taking a breath and steeling himself.

"Renji?"

"Yeah?" he said, looking back at her.

"It's going to be okay."

Renji's eyes looked guarded, but he nodded briefly.

"We'll get out of this somehow," he said, turning towards the fortress.

He left Yoruichi and approached the fortress, making his way past the guards and inside. He looked up as the hollow king appeared ahead of him.

"I was wondering when you would come back," he said, studying Renji closely, "Don't worry. I'm not angry that you failed to kill him. I understand that, under the circumstances, you must feel quite attached. I brought him here and made him comfortable so that the two of you can bond."

"Y-you know that Byakuya is pregnant?" Renji asked.

"Of course," said the monarch, "I sensed it when I found him in the cave. But I am content to allow him to have the child. Go to him. Bond with him."

A hundred questions formed in the redhead's mind, but he focused on the more important need to reach the noble as soon as possible. He followed the king to the room he had given Byakuya, then slipped inside and walked to the bed.

Byakuya looked to be sleeping peacefully, his body curled around several pillows. Renji sat down on the bed and smiled as the noble's eyes opened and fixed on him. A look of relief entered Byakuya's gray eyes, and he folded himself into Renji's arms.

"I think there's some stuff we need to talk about," Renji said, holding him tightly and talking softly, in case they were being monitored, "We have help. We just need to get ourselves out of here, okay?"

"That might present a bit of a problem," Byakuya said, shifting so that the redhead could see the band on his wrist.

"Shit..." said Renji, "_Not_ my area of expertise. I think we're in trouble, Taichou."

"That aside," said Byakuya, "I am glad you're here."


	8. First Bonding

**Chapter 8: First Bonding**

"Look, I have to apologize for the things I said to you before," Renji said, brushing several errant hairs away from Byakuya's eyes, "I didn't remember everything."

"But what you said was true. You and I both know that you only came here with the exploratory team because I offended you. I could have accepted what you said without..."

"Without what?" Renji said, shaking his head, "Without feeling hurt about me rejecting you? Byakuya...you were trying to let me into your life. You haven't let anyone that close to you since Hisana, and I knew that. I just..."

"You don't have to explain," Byakuya said, looking down at his hands, "You are a person who values his freedom. I only meant to bring us closer, but you weren't ready for such a thing. Or maybe, I am just not the right person."

"That's not true," Renji said, taking the noble's face in his hands and resting his forehead against Byakuya's, "I just...got spooked. I was thinking, after you left. There was...something that happened to me while I was a teen in Inuzuri, and..."

"I already told you. You don't have to explain," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "I don't expect anything from you."

"But, we're going to have a kid together, and that changes things."

"Renji, I don't want you to stay with me because of a child," said the noble in a low, controlled tone, "And we both know that is why you are having this change of heart. When this is over, and we go home, I will make sure you are able to come and go as you like to see our child, but I will not obligate you."

"What if I want to be obligated?" asked Renji.

He gazed for a moment at the noble's downcast eyes and sighed.

"No one gets the chance to break your heart twice, is that it?" he asked quietly, "One screw up and you shut the door tight?"

"I am not trying to punish you," Byakuya whispered, "That isn't what this is about. It is just that I believe that it would be a mistake for you to think we could be happy if you are trapped into being with me. You are trying very hard to tell yourself that you would be happy, but at some point, when you realized the amount of freedom you gave up to be with me, you would blame me. Or you might not blame me, but you would lose what feelings you have for me. So...it is better if we just continue as colleagues. You will promote soon and then things won't be awkward. You will have access to your child and the freedom you desire."

"And what will you do?" asked Renji, "Go back into solitude, like you did for over fifty years after your wife died? Byakuya, I don't want to be someone who came into your life, only to mess it up and disappear. I love you. It just took me a little longer to get there. Are you going to begrudge me the fact that I needed a little more time to figure things out?"

"I am not holding a grudge. That is not what this is. I just...realized that...I chose to be with you based on emotions of the moment. I am very much in love with you. But I was too quick to act on those emotions before fully understanding them. You asked me for more time, and I am just asking for the same."

"No, you're not," said Renji, touching his face lightly, "You're distancing yourself, and you know it. I know I hurt you. Don't lie to me and say that I didn't. Don't you get it? Love isn't just something you can turn on and off, like the rest of the things you feel. It gets down inside you and eventually you find that, try as you might, it is going to express itself. You think that what happened between us was a mistake. But, Byakuya, it was no mistake! You heart overcame all of the barriers that you had constructed to protect it after you lost your wife."

"My love for Hisana was an honorable kind of love, based on mutual caring," said the noble, looking away, "The only reason I was overcome by you was because of the sudden return of that emotion after so many years of numbness and solitude. But abandoning that solitude so impetuously was a mistake."

"No..." Renji said, shaking his head, "It was an honest reaction to what was inside you...what is still inside you. You let me in, and I was honored to be accepted and loved by you that way."

"If that was true, you would not have asked what you did of me."

"I told you I wanted to be with you," objected the redhead, "I just wasn't ready to live with you...to have to follow all of the anal rules of your clan...to have to give up being myself to suit you!"

"So, your answer to that was to ask the head of the greatest of the noble clans, and your taichou to engage in a casual office romance...one that left few strings attached and many open doorways by which to leave. It was as much as saying that you enjoyed the pleasures of my flesh, but not enough to remain true to me. If what you felt was love, you wouldn't have been worrying about having a means of escape..."

He broke off and took a soft, steadying breath.

"You would have been wondering what you would ever do if I wasn't there," he finished, "That was what I was thinking about you. But then, I know what it is to love someone and lose her, Renji. You seem to have enjoyed the position of always being the one to walk away."

"And you want me to pay for that. Is that it?" Renji asked bitterly.

"I told you that I am not punishing you," Byakuya repeated softly, "But neither will I lower myself to be someone you use to please yourself until the mood strikes you and you move on. There are plenty of others willing to play that role, but I am not one of them. I will not ask you to change, and you should not ask me to change for you either."

"And I'm telling you that, whether you meant it to or not, being with you, making this baby with you? It changed me. I am ready to let those other doorways close and to stay with you."

"Because of the child."

"I won't lie and say that's not part of it, or that's not what it took to open my eyes. But the why of it shouldn't really matter, should it? I want to be with you...permanently."

"Then, I will have a room prepared for you at the manor. You will have all of the privileges you wish with the child who so inspired you...and the freedom to come and go as you please, to sleep with whomever you wish, as long as it happens somewhere other than in our home."

"Byakuya, why are you doing this? Why are you trying so hard to push me away? Do you really hate me that much for not moving in with you?"

"No!" Byakuya snapped, his eyes flaring, "I hate that I lost control of myself and gave in to you the way I did. I am not some stupid, naive teenager, in love for the first time! I know better. I have loved someone and lost that person before. I should have known that if I..."

He stopped himself forcefully, unable to look Renji in the eyes. The redhead gazed at him in silence, his mind spinning around the noble's last words.

"So..." he said, moving forward onto the bed and wrapping his arms around Byakuya as the noble tried to turn away, "You were handing me a line of crap before."

"You're delusional," Byakuya said, still avoiding his eyes, "You don't know what you're..."

He went silent as Renji's mouth fastened on his, and the redhead pulled him close and held him tightly.

"You don't give a shit anymore that I had issues with us living together. You were hurt by it, but we would have found our way through that one."

"Shut up," the noble said, turning his head away as Renji tried to kiss him again.

Renji smiled and nipped at his throat, making him turn his head back, then capturing his lips in another sweltering kiss.

"I guess you really must love me," Renji went on, running his fingers through the noble's silken hair, "to spit out those lies and to try to shove me away so hard, when all the while your heart is still aching for me."

"Stop..."

"Because the truth is...you saw it happening all over again."

"Renji," Byakuya said, putting his fingers over the redhead's lips, "Leave me with an ounce of my pride intact."

"Byakuya," he said, more gently, "I am not going to die and leave you, like Hisana did."

Byakuya's eyes met his squarely.

"You have already died," he said, tracing the black lines on the redhead's neck with his fingertips, "And...if there is no way to undo your hollowfication, your hollow instincts will overwhelm and corrupt you to the point where love would not be just improbable, it would be impossible. It may come down to my love for you forcing me to destroy you before you are made over completely. And I would not be able to do you that honor if I let myself fall any farther."

"Well," said Renji, giving him a sad smile, "I hate to tell you this, but it is already too late to back down. You may not be one who likes to show his emotions, but your feelings for me are written all over your face, and they're in how hard you're trying to push me away. So you might as well just admit that we belong together. Especially now."

Byakuya looked up at him questioningly.

"We have to bond for our child. There are no two ways about that. And even though you haven't said it, I think that the bonding will connect us even more strongly."

Byakuya gazed at him for a moment, then nodded briefly.

"Then, let's just drop all of the pretenses and accept the facts. We are together. We love each other. And we are having a baby together. What happened before doesn't have to stop us from being happy. Yeah, we're taking risks. But...I think that we're worth it. What we feel for each other is worth it. Don't you agree?"

"I do," admitted the noble, "It is just that I cannot forget what it felt like when I knew she was gone. And when I came to Las Noches and sensed your death...Renji, it was like I was back in that same place again. And if..."

"Don't think about what will happen 'if,'" Renji said, pulling him close and seeking his mouth again, "I am going to find a way to stay with you. I am not going to leave you this time. I know that you loved Hisana and lost her, and how it must have killed you when you thought that I was gone too. But you have to put all of that out of your head and trust me. We'll be okay, and we won't lose each other. We are going to fight to make sure that doesn't happen."

Byakuya's eyes softened and he nodded. Renji offered him a slow, indulgent kiss, then looked at him questioningly.

"So," he said, "bonding. How do we do this?"

Byakuya gave Renji a tentative smile and took the redhead's hands in his. He placed them on his abdomen and looked up at the redhead again.

"Just close your eyes and reach out with your reiatsu. Yours will be attracted to mine and will wrap around the reiatsu chamber inside me."

Renji smiled and nodded, then let the reiatsu rise slowly out of him. It emerged from him in a soft, glowing red stream and flowed out through his hands and into Byakuya's body. Renji's eyes opened again and met the noble's warmly as he sensed the chamber inside Byakuya and wrapped his reiatsu around it.

"You can feel the beginnings of imbalance," said the noble, "but your reiatsu will connect with mine and slowly stabilize it."

"Mmmm," sighed Renji, nuzzling closer to him and enjoying the soft hum of their connected reiatsu, "I like the way that feels. But...um, Byakuya, being close to you like this kinda puts me in the mood for something a little less innocent than bonding, you know?"

A soft blush rose on the noble's cheeks and throat, sending a twinge of arousal through Renji.

"It is not uncommon," Byakuya explained, "for the bonding to cause rather intense amorous reactions."

"Oh, now you tell me," the redhead chuckled, holding his palms against Byakuya's warm flesh and kissing him hungrily.

Byakuya's eyes went hazy, and he wrapped his arms around the redhead. He moaned softly as Renji's tongue slipped in between his parted lips, and began a slow, tantalizing exploration of his mouth. The flow of reiatsu between them pulsed and glowed, sending soft, erotic throbs of pleasure through the two men. They kissed with more intensity, and the redhead's hands sought the ties on their clothing and slowly freed them from it.

Byakuya slid down onto his back, parting his thighs and watching with smoldering eyes as Renji laid down on top of him. He wrapped his legs around the redhead's muscular body and began thrusting gently, rubbing his damp arousal up and down Renji's. Renji gave a soft growl of pleasure and pressed his hips forward, increasing the lovely friction between them and making the noble beneath him moan more urgently and tighten his legs around the redhead.

The reiatsu around them swelled and sparked as the bonding gradually brought Byakuya's reiatsu into balance. The noble sighed blissfully as he reached it, then his focus shifted from the bonding to the strong impulses of giving and receiving pleasure. He looked up into Renji's golden eyes, smiling at the affection he found in them.

The redhead's hand captured their swollen members and held them as the two continued to exchange increasingly ferocious kisses and thrust harder against each other. And again, Renji felt an intense hunger for his lover's sweet reiatsu. He held himself back carefully, stealing a few quick, steadying breaths and looking down at Byakuya's lovely, flustered expression. He lifted himself slightly and brought the head of his thick erection to the noble's entrance, rubbing the wet head around the area and making Byakuya moan and move restlessly beneath him. He meant to enter his lover slowly, but suddenly couldn't bear the waiting. He took the noble in one hard, brutal thrust, devouring the groan of pain Byakuya expelled in response. He thrust, hard and fast into his reeling lover, flinching as the noble's mouth fastened tightly on his and his fingers clenched, digging into the redhead's skin.

Byakuya's voice sounded again, but carried an odd echo that sent a chill through Renji and made him thrust even more forcefully into the body beneath his. Byakuya's body moved gracefully with his, absorbing the heavy shocks of his thrusting and teasing him with flickers of nearing completion.

He careened forward into the edges of oblivion, Byakuya's sounds of pleasure gripping him and driving him that last bit over the edge. He loosed a howl of completion, firing long pulses of hot seed into Byakuya's depths and enjoying the way the noble clung to him, almost painfully tightly as he loosed a scream of pleasure and released between them.

They fell still, panting hard and exchanging a flurry of kisses. Renji flinched again as Byakuya nipped hard at his mouth. He smiled and opened his eyes, some bit of levity coming to his lips.

It disappeared again almost immediately and Renji froze atop the noble, staring. His shocked eyes took in the unexpected sight of skin that had gone deathly white, black eyes with glowing red centers, sensuous red lips, bared fangs, and a lovely white mask with soft swirls of pink and silver on the surface, where it covered the noble's forehead and the right side of his face. Renji shrank back in shock, his eyes wide and his body shaking.

"Byakuya..." he whispered, "Byakuya...what is happening?"

The noble curled into Renji's arms and sought his mouth again, his icy white hands holding on tightly.

_What the hell is going on here?_

_Did I do this?_

_Did I make him a hollow too?_


	9. Dying to be Hollow

**Chapter 9: Dying to be Hollow**

**(I'm channeling some real angst today, so be prepared. This chapter contains a goodly amount of angst, and some non-con sex mixed with some gentle romance. Okay, you figured it out! I'm a little schizophrenic...always have been. It's just that, as a writer, we accept schizophrenia pretty gracefully, calling the inner voices...'muses.' Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter! Love Spunky)**

"Oh gods!" Renji gasped, staring at the stunningly beautiful hollow that Byakuya had become, "What did I _do_ to you, Byakuya? I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't know I would..."

"You didn't make him a hollow," said the slightly rasping voice of the hollow king as he entered the room, "Not yet."

"But he's..."

"It will happen gradually," the king went on, "He will change like this each time you bond and each time you make love. And every time that he transforms like this, he will remain a hollow for a longer period of time before returning to shinigami form."

The king paused as Byakuya loosed a haunting, echoing sound of intense pain. As Renji stared, his stomach in knots at seeing, the lovely pink and white mask shattered and fell away. Byakuya leaned forward on his hands and knees, panting and groaning harshly as his fangs dulled, and his flesh regained its normal color. Renji pulled the noble close and held him tightly as he slowly regained his senses.

"You're gonna be okay now," he assured Byakuya, kissing him on the forehead, "Just lie down and rest, all right?"

He eased the noble down onto the bed and Byakuya sighed in relief and closed his eyes. The king watched dispassionately, the nodded to Renji.

"He will be fine now. Come with me."

"What?" Renji asked, still staring at Byakuya and barely breathing.

"I said," the king growled, wrapping a possessive, clawed hand around Renji's arm, "You are to come with me. In case you have forgotten, you serve me now. I allow you contact with this shinigami because it is useful for me to do so. And I can revoke the privilege at any time if you refuse to obey me. You...understand what that would mean for him and the baby he carries, ne?"

Renji gasped softly, closing his eyes as the king's claw ran gently along his cheek.

"Watching you with him has made me aroused, and now you will relieve me of that arousal. Come with me."

Renji hesitated, and the hollow king growled in warning, baring his sharp fangs.

"Will he be safe?" Renji asked.

The king answered him with a swift blow to the head that sent him crashing to the floor. Renji started to get up, but stared in shock as Byakuya launched himself off of the bed and locked his arm around the hollow king's throat, squeezing hard. The king snarled viciously and tore at the noble, loosing him and throwing him down on the floor. He dropped down on top of Byakuya and glared down into his widened eyes.

"I should kill you!" he screamed, raking his claw down the side of the noble's face, then slashing across his bare body.

Byakuya gasped and turned, throwing the king off and trying to crawl away. The king roared and shot towards him, but was thrown off his feet as a cero exploded from Renji's hands and enveloped him.

"Run, Byakuya!" Renji cried, "Get out of here!"

He tackled the king and held him down, digging his claws in and tearing at him, as the hollow king laughed, sending shivers through Renji's crouched body. A moment later, Renji realized that Byakuya had not run, but was sitting, leaned against the wall and holding his hands to his bleeding face and chest.

"Byakuya!" the redhead cried.

"Do not go near him!" hissed the hollow king, "You fool! He cannot run from me. That band on his wrist will bring him back to me anytime I wish!"

"Just let him go!" Renji cried, "Whatever you want, I'll do. Just let him go. Don't hurt him...let him go."

The hollow king looked from the injured, nearly collapsed shinigami to the red and white haired hollow, and his red-golden eyes narrowed. He smirked wickedly.

"I cannot let him go," he said slyly, "How then would you bond to protect your child?"

Renji didn't answer, but remained frozen and staring at his injured lover. The king pushed him away, and this time Renji did nothing to object. He stared at Byakuya, wishing with all of his missing heart that the king would just let them go...just...

"Please...let me heal him. And then, I'll do whatever you say."

The hollow king smiled at him wickedly.

"You will lie with me first, and then you may heal him," he offered.

"F-fine," Renji managed, nearly choking on the words, "Let's go then. I don't want him to suffer."

"Renji," Byakuya whispered.

"Very well," said the king, "Lie down on the bed and open yourself to me."

A touch from the king froze Byakuya where he was, not even allowing him to turn his head so that he wouldn't see.

"You're shitting me, ne?" Renji asked, his hand clawing at his hollow hole, "I can't do that in front of him! Please, just...let's go somewhere else and..."

He gasped in pain and shock as the king struck him and sent him crashing into the wall.

"I said, lie down and open yourself to me...now!" the king ordered him, moving to Byakuya's side and wrapping a black claw around the noble's slender, white throat. Byakuya kept his face forcibly calm.

"It is all right, Renji," he said quietly, "Do as he tells you."

The king laughed.

"Yes, listen to your taichou," the king purred, sliding his claw down Byakuya's face and drawing another slim tendril of blood, "He is wise, Renji. He does what is necessary to keep the two of you alive. Go now. Do as I said...or I will make him into a hollow right now!"

Renji swallowed hard and picked himself up. He avoidded looking at Byakuya as he laid down on his back on the bed and waited. The hollow king smiled and left Byakuya, frozen and unable to look away. The noble steeled himself as the hollow king climbed onto the bed and froze Renji in place with his eyes locked on his lover's.

"This is your punishment for disobeying me," the king said, shocking Renji's body with sudden pain and he entered him unprepared.

Renji bit his lips and kept his face calm, even as the hollow king tormented the redhead's body with flashes of pleasure and pain until he could hardly tell the two apart. Renji sank into Byakuya's somehow calm eyes and, even though he felt like he wanted to scream, he remained quiet as the king continued his harsh motions and inflictions of pain.

"Love is such a beautiful thing, ne?" the king panted in Renji's ear, his gaze fixed on Byakuya's widened eyes as he released into Renji's trapped body and the redhead flinched and shivered, but made no sound, "It makes you strong enough to accept what would otherwise be unbearable. You are lucky to have known what that feels like, Renji. Not everyone experiences that beauty before they die. And once you die and become a true hollow, you will learn just what you have lost."

"I'm sorry," Renji whispered.

"What?" the king asked, glaring at him.

"For the one you loved and lost, like I lost Byakuya when you captured me and made me like this."

"What?" the hollow repeated, his red-golden eyes flaring, "You...!"

A look of pain flashed across the hollow's face, but was quickly controlled. The king withdrew from Renji's body, and he stood and set his clothes back in place.

"You may heal him now," the king said solemnly, "And we may avoid another scene like this as long as you obey me from now on."

The king's sonido engaged and he disappeared from the room. A moment later, the reiatsu binding the two lovers shattered, and Renji tumbled off the bed, scrambling to reach Byakuya's side as quickly as he could. The noble sighed softly, saying nothing, but leaning calmly against Renji as the redhead healed his wounds.

"You're going to be okay now," Renji assured the noble, his hands shaking as he healed the long gashes on Byakuya's fine skin, "And we'll get out of here. I'll figure out how to break that thing off your wrist, and we'll..."

"I love you, Renji," Byakuya whispered, turning his head to make a line of soft kisses along the redhead's throat.

"I love you too," Renji whispered back, "Come on."

He helped the noble back to his feet, then led him to the bed and tucked him in, gently.

"I'm going to make you some tea," he said, kissing Byakuya's cheek and turning away.

Byakuya didn't answer, but only leaned silently back against the pillows and waited. Renji left the room and walked down the hall to the kitchen area to prepare the tea. He flinched in surprise and annoyance as the king's voice sounded behind him

"You probably shouldn't have left him."

"What?" Renji asked, frowning.

"Look," the hollow king said, making Byakuya's image appear in the air in front of the stunned redhead.

Renji's blood went cold at the sight of Kuchiki Byakuya, naked and relieved of every marker of his nobility, collapsed on the bed, his slender, lovely body shaking with silent, gripping sobs. Renji's eyes widened and the tea tray dropped from his nerveless hands. His sonido engaged and he couldn't move fast enough to reach his tormented lover.

The king stood quietly, a harsh ache of memory invading the coldness inside him as he stared at the image of the distressed noble. He shook his head to clear it, and walked through the image, making it flicker and fade.

"You should be more careful with your toys, Abarai Renji," he said numbly, "You don't want to break them irreparably."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You should get some rest, Hanatarou-kun," Rikichi said, watching as the healer continued to pour reiatsu into Tetsuya's sleeping form, "You have been without sleep for too long."

"I am all right," Hanatarou assured him, "If I get too worn down, I have something I can take to revive me."

Rikichi shook his head.

"You shouldn't tax yourself so badly when things may get worse and we may be in need of your full strength. His fever has gone down and he is resting comfortably. I will watch Kuchiki fukutaichou while you sleep. Arashi is standing guard, so you needn't worry about that either. Go on."

"Well," said Hanatarou, scratching the back of his neck and studying Tetsuya for a moment, "He is doing better. He'll be a little groggy from the pain block, but you can just continue feeding his reiatsu with yours while he sleeps."

"I will," said Rikichi, settling beside the injured noble.

He waited as Hanatarou settled down near them and immediately dropped off to sleep, then took a breath, looking down at Tetsuya's bared chest and lovely, glowing torso, then placed his hands on the noble and connected with him to begin the healing. Tetsuya's eyelids fluttered as Rikichi's reiatsu joined with his and began to strengthen him. A soft swell of what appeared to be blue water emerged suddenly from Tetsuya's resting form and wrapped around the two. Tetsuya's eyes opened and locked on Rikichi's, looking surprised and dazed as the water swirled around them, then evaporated into a fine sprinkling of snow. Tetsuya's lips parted, but he seemed lost for words as he stared at Rikichi in silence.

"What was that?" asked the third seat, staring into the noble's eyes.

Tetsuya was too shocked for a moment to answer, but took a steadying breath and shook his head to uncloud it.

"It is something that usually occurs only between mated noble shinigami pairs," Tetsuya said quietly, "When they first bond, certain souls react to each other, the way your connection caused my body to react. Souls within the clan who share this effect are married immediately as it is believed that it is a sign of fate that they should be together."

"B-but, I was just healing you, Kuchiki fukutaichou!" objected Rikichi, his eyes going wide, "I didn't...I mean...I don't think I..."

He broke off as Tetsuya sat up.

"Hey, you shouldn't be..." Rikichi began, placing his palm on Tetsuya's chest to push him back down.

He gasped as Tetsuya's reiatsu swelled around them again, and Rikichi's pulsed gently, as though in answer. The two stared at each other breathlessly in the soft, blue glow, blinking as it turned into raindrops and wetted their skin lightly as it fell around them.

"Rain in Hueco Mundo," whispered Rikichi, capturing some on his opened palm, "I've never seen anything so beautiful..."

He froze as Tetsuya's hand captured his, and the young noble moved closer to him, his rosy lips touching Rikichi's captured palm, then withdrawing. Neither could speak anymore as they gazed at each other in the semi-darkness, their bodies moving closer in small, barely perceptible motions until their arms slid around each other, and they let out their mutually suspended breath in a moment of shared amusement.

"Is this...okay?" Rikichi asked, "I mean, I'm sure it's okay as far as us being in a squad together, but, I mean...you are noble, and I'm..."

"It doesn't matter," said Tetsuya, "Fated love awakening...koigokoro no shukumei. Among the nobles, it is a rare and fated connection between souls, indicating that they share a common pathway in their lives."

Rikichi blinked slowly, entranced by Tetsuya's blue eyes and enchanted by the touching of their reiatsu. He found it hard to draw a breath as Tetsuya's face moved closer to his and everything around him seemed to disappear. The touch of Tetsuya's soft, warm lips on his sent an electric jolt through his loins, and he couldn't help but sink hungrily into the noble's offered kiss. That first kiss was followed by another, and by several more, until the two broke away from each other, smiling and flushed with arousal.

"Is this...all right with you, Rikichi?" Tetsuya asked.

Hearing his name said that way, the honorific left out and with the gentle inflection of a lover, left Rikichi reeling. He embraced Tetsuya tightly, resting his head on the noble's shoulder and breathing in his pleasant, sakura scent.

"W-well, yeah, of course it is," he answered, once he could make his voice sound again, "You said it was fate."

"The emotion is fated," said Tetsuya, "But we are creatures of free will and free expression. It is our choice who we love, how...and when."

"It's so strange," said Rikichi, swallowing hard, "We've only just met...but I feel like you've always been there."

He let out a shaky breath.

"And you know what I told you about before...about how I was feeling invisible?"

Tetsuya smiled and nodded silently.

"I don't feel invisible anymore."

"You have never been invisible to me," whispered Tetsuya, leaning forward and bringing their lips together again.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya heard the door opening and quickly composed himself, turning his head towards the window and quickly brushing away the tears with one pale hand. He inhaled sharply as Renji's weight dropped onto the bed next him, and the redhead dragged him into his strong arms. Byakuya closed his eyes, breathing in Renji's wild, masculine scent and pouring his effort into maintaining control as the redhead's voice sounded in his ear.

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. If I had just...if I'd just told you, then you would have understood. I know you would have. But I couldn't say anything before. And because I didn't, you got the wrong idea."

"I don't understand," Byakuya said, keeping himself carefully composed, "What are you talking about?"

Renji's eyes closed and he bit at his lips nervously for a moment. He sighed in resignation, knowing he had to come clean, but not knowing how to make himself say the words.

"Renji?" Byakuya queried, touching his face gently.

"I lied to you," Renji said, looking into Byakuya's widened eyes, "I didn't get freaked out because I was worried that moving in with you meant that I would lose my freedom. I didn't care about that...not at all. I just couldn't commit to you...because...because I..."

Renji stopped talking, and a shocked hand rose to touch his mask as it shattered and fell away.

"Renji!" gasped Byakuya, reaching for him.

He was thrown back by a swirl of dark reiatsu that curled around Renji's body as he collapsed onto the bed, screaming in pain.

"Renji! Watashi no koi! Renji!" cried the noble, trying to move closer, but being forced back again as Renji's hollow reiatsu swelled, and the mask formed again on his face.

Byakuya stared in silence as Renji panted and groaned, clawing at the bedsheets as the mask completed itself. He fell still afterward, unable to move or speak. Byakuya moved forward and pulled the redhead into his arms. He held Renji tightly, his own strength returning as Renji's needs outstripped his own in his mind.

"We are going to find a way out of this, Renji," he whispered, "We will. I know we will. What just happened has to mean that you can be saved. I will find a way to restore you if it is the last thing I do."


	10. The Escape

**Chapter 10: The Escape**

**(Sorry about the confusion. I posted this chapter a while back, but was really not happy with it, so gave it some thought and here it is again. I like it much better this way, and I hope you will too. Thanks so much to everyone reading! Love, Spunky)**

Byakuya rested quietly in Renji's arms, his eyes closed as the reiatsu flowed from the redhead's hands and into his pregnant abdomen.

"We're going to get out of this," Renji breathed in the noble's ear, "I'm going to speak to Yoruichi after this bonding, and we'll come up with a plan to get you free of that band on your wrist. We'll all be out of here in no time."

Byakuya bit softly at his lips and closed his eyes, nodding, but not answering aloud.

"And when Kisuke figures out how to make me a shinigami again, I'm going to spend the rest of my life showing you how much I love you."

"Renji..." Byakuya whispered.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am. And if you can forgive me, I swear, I will never, ever hurt you again."

"But you said..." Byakuya began.

Renji stopped him with a kiss.

"I told you before. I wasn't telling you everything. I lied to you...because I was afraid of how much you made me feel, Byakuya."

"But..."

"What I said...it was wrong."

"Renji, you do not have to apologize. You cannot force yourself to love someone."

"But I don't have to force myself," insisted the redhead, "I never did. I was really in love with you. I didn't give a shit about giving up my freedom, but..."

Byakuya sat very still, his eyes lowered and his eyes closed.

"Something...happened. In Inuzuri...before."

Byakuya's dark eyes opened and sought his questioningly.

"We'd had a hard winter...and Rukia and me, and the kids we were living with...we were out of food and desperate. So...there was this guy in town who I knew casually, who offered to help me out by having me do some work for him. But the thing is, what I didn't know..."

Renji paused, steeling himself.

"What he wanted was for me to serve as a prostitute."

Renji felt a catch in his heart at the sadness in Byakuya's eyes at hearing his admission.

"I went with him, not knowing what he really planned. I was only supposed to be there for a day or two, working odd jobs for him. But the bastard tricked me into drinking something that had been laced with a drug. While I was half out of it, he tied me up and raped me, then he locked me in a hidden room and wouldn't let me go. He drugged my food so I wouldn't resist. And when there were no customers, he would come and lie down with me, himself."

"Renji..."

"He kept me tied up a lot of the time. I was scared, but even worse, I didn't know what was happening with Rukia and that others. One day, while he was attacking me, I managed to break free and shoved him off of me. He fell and hit his head and I took the money, only what he had promised me and ran. I went back to the rest of the kids...and...I never told them. I found out later that the guy had died and I was scared to death that someone would figure out it was me who did it."

"But Renji, it was self defense. The man had assaulted and imprisoned you. He was in the midst of attacking you."

"I was a street kid," Renji said softly, "I didn't believe in justice or fairness. I didn't trust the authorities because most were not trustworthy. You've been there. You know."

Byakuya sighed and nodded silently.

Whenever I was with someone after that, I would go just so far...but when we reached the point of moving in together, I would get scared again, and I would always leave. When you and I were together, I felt different. I felt like I could put all of that behind me and I could really enjoy being with you. But...oh gods, don't take this personally, when we were together and you tied our hands together with your scarf..."

A look of guilt swept over the noble's face.

"Renji, I'm sorry..."

"I told you, it wasn't your fault. It was a gesture of love...a way to show me that you wanted me to be a part of your life. It was really a beautiful thing, making love with you with us bound together like that...but I had a really awful flashback. And instead of seeing you on top of me...I saw him. Instead of feeling how passionate you were, I felt the way he was so violent. I heard his voice..."

"Renji...! Kami, why didn't you _tell_ me? Had you but said something then, you know that I would never have..."

"I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to give you up, but I was so scared!"

"But you _know_ me, Renji...probably better than most other people do."

"Yeah, I do," said the redhead, blinking back tears, "but I was really screwed up inside. I still am. But...when we get out of here, I'm going to go to the fourth, and I'm going to do what I can to deal with this."

"Renji, you don't have to move in with me," said the noble, "We can do as you said...see each other at the division. I trust you."

Renji shook his head, a tear rolling down his cheek.

"You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And I want to be with you. I want that enough to do anything. And as much as I never wanted to face what happened, if I want to be with you, I'm going to have to do that. I will. I'll do anything to make things work for us. I love you that much."

"I love you too, Renji. And whatever will help you, I will do," the noble promised, "I know you think that I do not have to say it, but I am sorry that what I did hurt you. I never meant for that to happen."

"I know you didn't mean it to. Byakuya, nobody knew about what happened to me. Please don't blame yourself."

Byakuya let out a long sigh as Renji continued with the bonding.

"I am sorry for what happened to you, Renji," he said quietly, "It makes me sick inside to even think of it. And I _am_ relieved to know you love me too."

"I know me refusing you like that...saying the things I did hurt you. I didn't mean to."

"I know. It is in the past, Renji. Let it go."

Renji's lips tightened, but he nodded and kissed the noble lightly on the mouth.

"It's good to get that off my chest...you know."

"It is not easy, bearing such a weight alone," said Byakuya.

"I'm not alone now," Renji said, smiling.

His smile faded as the reiatsu rose around him, and Byakuya began to shift uncomfortably under his hands. Renji captured the noble in his arms, holding him tightly as a flash of fear entered his eyes, and a red glow rose up inside them.

"Oh, gods, not again!" Byakuya gasped, closing his eyes against the pain of transformation.

He groaned against Renji's shoulder as the redhead held him and soothed him with words and kisses. But as his mask formed, he loosed an echoing screech of intense pain and tore at Renji with his sharp fangs and claws.

"It's okay...it's gonna be okay...it's okay," Renji whispered, grabbing his wrists and holding him down as Byakuya screamed and glared at him through hateful red eyes. Though the sight of Byakuya that way was terrifying, Renji didn't miss the fact of how beautiful he was, even as a hollow. He stared down at the lovely, enraged pale face, his panting white breast and perfectly formed hands.

"Damn, you're beautiful..." he whispered, leaning down to share a storm of biting kisses.

He caught his breath in surprise as someone pulled Byakuya from his arms and shoved him aside roughly.

"Hey! What the hell?" he yelled.

The hollow king glared at him and struck him across the face, then fired a binding cero that left him facedown on the bed. Renji struggled, but the king hissed at him warningly.

"Do not move...or I will kill him."

"What are you doing? Don't touch him! You don't have the right to touch him! I'll kill you!"

The hollow king glared into Byakuya's widened red eyes.

"Take him," said the king, "while he is bound. Make it hurt."

Byakuya's red eyes blinked, and the red glow flickered oddly. The king grabbed him by the throat.

"You do as I told you! Do it now!" he yelled, shoving the noble at Renji.

Byakuya fell onto his belly, next to the redhead, groaning and panting harshly. The king grabbed him roughly by the hair as Byakuya's mask shattered and the noble loosed a cry of pain.

"If you won't do what I said, then you can be the one tied down!"

Renji's eyes stared as the king forced Byakuya down and bound his hands to the bedpost. He forced the noble's thighs open and positioned himself to enter him. Byakuya's eyes closed and a look of fear and disbelief rose on his face.

For Renji, it was like going back in time. The memories of being tied down like that, of being drugged and assaulted raked themselves across his mind and threw him over the precipice from raw emotion into near madness. He shrieked in rage, shattering his bonds and rising up...throwing his body against the king as he moved to take the bound noble.

Byakuya sucked in a terrified breath, releasing Renji's name breathlessly as the incensed redhead attacked, throwing himself and the king off the bed and onto the floor. He watched, wide-eyed as the two slashed at each other, as ceros erupted around the two, lighting the room in red, shaking it, and passing dangerously close to where he still laid bound on the bed.

"Don't you dare put your hands on him!" roared the red haired hollow, "I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!"

Their claws slashed at each other, and crimson lines appeared on their entwined bodies as the two continued to struggle. Byakuya heard the sound of running feet and struggled wildly to free himself. But the door flew open and a group of hollow guards rushed into the room. Renji loosed a cero that enveloped three at once and vaporized them before they could scream. The others surrounded him and forced him down, holding him tightly in place as the king straightened and rose. He glared down at the redhead.

"How dare you attack your king!" he said savagely, "You may have been one of them, but you are mine now!"

"Fuck you! Let him go, you bastard! Let him go! You hurt him and I'll kill you! I'll fucking kill you!"

"Silence!" snapped the hollow king, slapping him hard across the face, "You insolent peasant! Do not move or I will kill this man. Receive your punishment quietly, or it is over for him."

The king moved back to where Byakuya laid bound on the bed, and laid himself across the noble's bared back. Byakuya's dark eyes met Renji's warningly, and he shook his head barely perceptibly.

"You make a very lovely hollow, Kuchiki Byakuya," the king breathed in the noble's ear, sending a chill down his spine, "Would you like me to make you one again?"

Byakuya swallowed hard, but said nothing.

"I said," said the king, grabbing the noble by the hair, and pressing his hardened member against the noble's entrance, "Would you like me to finish making you a hollow now?"

"N-no," Byakuya managed.

"Then...the next time I tell you to do something, you will do it...without hesitation."

"I will not hurt Renji, no matter what you do," Byakuya said calmly, "I love him, and I would rather die than to hurt him."

The king's reiatsu flared and he struck the noble hard and fired a jolt of power through his bound form. Byakuya groaned and collapsed, made nearly senseless as the king's claw wrapped around his neck from behind and tightened threateningly. Byakuya reeled, struggling to breathe as the king's hand tightened.

Renji roared in fury and struggled against the hands that held him, screaming the noble's name as Byakuya's eyes began to close.

But it was the king who froze in surprise as the redhead's mask shattered and Renji's body began to change. And when he tore free of the guards this time, the power that struck the king was kido, not cero.

"No!" raged the king, "You cannot fight my power! You are a lowly shinigami!"

"Get off of him, you bastard!"

"Renji,'" Byakuya whispered, beginning to lose consciousness.

Renji crashed into the stunned king and took him to the floor again. Kido and cero exploded around the two and enveloped the rest of the guards. Debris rained down as the room threatened to shake itself apart, under the clashing forces of the two. Renji turned suddenly and loosed a quick kido blast, freeing the noble from his bonds and giving him an opening to flee.

"RUN, BYAKUYA!" the redhead screamed, "GO! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Byakuya stared in dismay, unable to make himself move as the hollow king fired a cero and brought Renji to the floor again.

"What are you doing?" he yelled at the noble, "Get out of here! I'll find you. I'll get away and I'll find you. I promise! Now, go! I can't hold him off forever."

The king send heavy jolts of stunning power through his hands, into Renji's struggling body, finally bringing him down and binding him again.

"How did you break the mask?" demanded the king, "How?"

"Byakuya!" cried Renji, staring at the unmoving shinigami on the bed, "Byakuya!

He broke off and screamed in pain as hollow reiatsu flared around him, and his mask began to form again.

The king smiled viciously.

"That is better. Now..."

He broke off again as the bedroom shook wildly and the wall nearest the bed broke apart.

"What in hades...?" snapped the hollow king.

Byakuya's eyes went wide, then relief broke out across his face as Shihoin Yoruichi appeared, flanked by Tetsuya, and Rikichi. Yoruichi flash stepped to his side as the two male shinigamis fired heavy blasts of kido to force the hollow king away from Renji. Renji took advantage of the king's distraction to throw him off, then backed away as he rose, and the spiritual pressure in the room became crushing.

Rikichi made a sound of distress and sweat broke out on his forehead. Tetsuya's face betrayed discomfort and he backed away, shielding himself and Rikichi as the king gained his feet. On the bed, Yoruichi snapped the band on Byakuya's wrist and pulled him to his feet.

"Where do you think you're going?" he raged, raising his spiritual pressure until the room shook and more debris rained down, "You cannot escape me!"

"Oh, I beg to differ," said Yoruichi, shielding Renji and the others as they backed towards Byakuya and her, "You may think you're quite powerful, but your powers aren't enough to fight all of us at once. And we've taken out quite a few of your troops. Now, if you will excuse us, we are going to be on our way."

She opened a senkaimon and shielded the others as Rikichi guarded Renji while the redhead entered the precipice world, and Tetsuya did the same for Byakuya.

"What about Hanatarou and the horse?" Renji asked.

"Already went on ahead of us," Yoruichi assured him, shoving him the rest of the way through before flash stepping inside and closing the gate just as the king loosed a wicked cero at it.

Renji stumbled to Byakuya's side, slipping an arm around the unsteady noble and helping him through the dark corridors.

"You do not have to do that, Abarai," the noble said stubbornly, "I can manage. Besides, you were hurt as well."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine," Renji assured him, "I'm just glad we're out of there."

"We'll have you back in Karakura Town in no time," Yoruichi promised.

"And Urahara-san will find a way to help you regain your shinigami form," Byakuya said, looking up at the redhead.

"Yeah," he agreed, "Let's just hope he does that before..."

"It's best not to dwell on that, Renji," Byakuya said, leaning against him lightly and continuing on.

But even as happy as he was that they were free, the redhead couldn't be so sure.

_There's got to be a way to fix this._

_If anyone can figure it out, Kisuke can._

_He has to..._


End file.
